Straight Talk Sports

Heisman Hopeless?

2007-11-11T13:13:00.000-05:00

The Heisman award is perhaps the most coveted individual accolade in all of sports, surrounded by more allure and glory than any professional MVP award. Win a Heisman, and you are immortalized in history, even though you might just be a fast QB with a bad arm on a dominant team who will be asked to switch positions of you are even given a shot in the NFL (like Eric Crouch), or a 28-year old balding quarterback (Chris Weinke...hilarious). Only there's a problem of injustice arising in determining those players who are in the proverbial mix to be considered for the award. It seems that the list now consists, not of the most outstanding players like the award was designed for, but rather a list of the top NFL prospects for the 2008 NFL Draft. Now that's not to say that those guys aren't having great seasons, but there are other guys, especially Sophomores, being overlooked.

Look at head-to-head comparisons for example of Matt Ryan (my hometown guy who I am biased towards), widely to be considered the top quarterback prospect for this year's draft, and Todd Reesing of the Kansas Jayhawks. Ryan, although he has dropped a bit in the speculation polls with BC's last two losses, has thrown for an impressive 3200+ yards, but has thrown 13 picks with his 24 touchdowns. His other numbers are solid, but not Heisman-like: 59% completion percentage, 129.8 QB rating, and an 8-2 record vs. a relatively pathetic group of opponents that, on top of the surprisingly lowly ACC teams, included only UMass, Bowling Green, Notre Dame, and Army.) On the other hand, Reesing has led a Kansas team that was not slated to be in the top 5 in the Big 12, let alone the country, to a shockin 10-0 record. He has thrown for 2600+ yards, 26 TDs and amazingly only 4 Ints, has completed 62% of his passes, and boasts a QB rating of 151.8.

Tim Tebow's stats are even more impressive, and yes, Florida has lost 3 games, but you can hardly fault them for a 4-point loss at LSU, and even the tough losses vs. Georgia and Auburn are understandable. Tebow's stats: (2500+ yards passing, 23 TDs, 5 Ints, 69% completion rate, a nation-leading 177.1 QB rating, and oh yeah, 19 rushing TD's, which is more than anyone in Florida history. OK, you caught me, I have a terrible man crush on Tim Tebow, but with those stats, who wouldn't!?

Dennis Dixon is certainly worthy of the Heisman if he wins it, but other than that, guys receiving speculation include Darren McFadden (4 losses), Mike Hart (has missed 3 games), DeSean Jackson (a pathetic 650 yards on the season), and worst of all, Glenn Dorsey, the LSU defensive tackle. You can't even find defensive stats anywhere on the internet. Dorsey has been playing hurt for a large part of the season, and is hardly the main reason why LSU is in the mix for the national championship. The only defensive player who has ever won the Heisman was Charles Woodson in 1997, and he carried Michigan to win the title. Did I mention that he also played some wideout, returned punts, and had interceptions every time they needed one?

Dennis Dixon should probably win the Heisman, but Reesing and Tebow should be the runners-up. Matt Ryan, Darren McFadden, Desean Jackson, and Glenn Dorsey will all make great pros, but that doesn't make them Heisman candidates. We may as well give it to Jake Long, the Michigan offensive lineman. I mean, he's supposed to be a top 5 draft pick. That's all that matters, right?

Dear...

2007-11-06T19:01:00.000-05:00

After a 6 month hiatus, it's finally time for me to resume my ranting. My apologies for the break. Without any further ado, let me begin.

Larry Johnson, your injury has more people excited than worried.
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Now I know it's utterly immoral to be happy about someone getting hurt, and I promise, I would never wish such harm on Larry Johnson or anybody else. But hey, Johnson will be fine in a week or two, and now, it's Priest time! Yes, this is one of those great comeback attempts that warms everybody's heart, blah blah blah, but it's more than just a sappy story. For those of you who have forgotten, in the 2001-2003 seasons, Holmes was the most dominant and most versatile back in the entire league. He gained over 2000 yards of total offense and reeled in over 60 receptions in each of the three seasons! Of course I would love to see another guy come back from an injury that threatened to impact the rest of his life, but on top of that, it will be pretty darn exciting to see if the 34-year old has anything left in the tank. If he's even 80% the back that he was four years ago, the Chiefs could have the most exciting backfield (when Johnson returns) since Bo Jackson and Marcus Allen of the LA Raiders in the Tecmo Super Bowl. Now if they'd just pull Damon Huard, barely a servicable career backup (a whopping 8 TDs and 9 picks in 8 starts this season) and let Alabama alum Brodie Croyle, potentially their franchise quarterback, take the helm, they could accidentally win the battered AFC West...

Don Shula, grow up!
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As a disclaimer, I am a biased Patriots fan, but regardless, this is absolutely absurd. Don Shula is arguing that if the Patriots finish the season 16-0 (as his 1972 Dolphins did), they should be put in the record books with an asterisk due to the Week 1 spying scandal. There are so many things wrong with this, I don’t even know where to begin. First of all, when did Don Shula become a pundit of the NFL record book? After 35 years, the Dolphins might not be alone in the records, so of course Shula selfishly speaks out. I was equally disgusted when Jason Taylor spoke out against Shawne Merriman last year for being eligible for Defensive Player of the Year after testing positive for steroids; of course Merriman was Taylor’s main competition for the award. These Dolphins just can’t keep their mouths shut…Secondly, the Patriots were caught stealing play calls in Week 1 vs. the New York Jets. The Pats won 38-14 and the Jets are now a remarkable 1-8 on the season. I don’t think a couple signals were the turning point for their defeat. Other than that single game, the Patriots have played fair all season and continued to destroy teams all year long. Thirdly, I’ve never been a fan of the “if you aren’t cheating, you aren’t trying” credo, but it’s relatively true in professional sports. Guys are always trying to read lips, steal signals, exploit the rules, (for example, those ridiculous timeouts called while the kicker is kicking the game winning field goal) etc. The league has said that the Patriots cheated, and I am not justifying that, but it’s hardly more repulsive than whatever all the other teams do. They’ve already been stripped of a first-round draft pick, that’s punishment enough. Don’t put an asterisk next to a team who is blatantly one of the best in history because of such a minute violation. Look on the bright side Don, the Dolphins can enter the record book again with another perfect record—0-16.

Curt Schilling, really?
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The Red Sox signed Schilling for one more year yesterday, and the media and Red Sox nation are all over it. I’m over it too. If I have to listen to one more story about how Schilling has “reinvented” himself as a finesse pitcher, I’m going to go insane. Losing 10 miles on your fastball doesn’t mean you’ve reinvented yourself, it just means you’re turning 41 this month and you’re starting to suck. Over the last 3 years, Schilling is 32-25 with a 4.30 ERA and a handful of injuries. He’s a washed up, unreliable, injury-prone, decent 3rd or 4th pitcher a rotation who’s only getting worse. I’ll save my excitement until we re-sign Lowell.

Adrian Peterson, save some for the next 15 years!
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Rookie stud Adrian Peterson broke the all-time single game rushing record vs. San Diego this Sunday, going for 296 yards and 3 TDs. It was his second game of 200+ yards and 3 TDs in the last 4 weeks. Peterson could break his collarbone again and miss the second half of the season and still win Rookie of the Year. You’d think the media would be all over a fresh rookie who is clearly the best back in the league this season, but I guess playing in Minnesota with Travaris Jackson as your quarterback will hide you a little bit. Peterson is an unbelievable combination of speed and strength that makes him and almost unprecedented talent. What’s more? He’s on pace for just the 6th 2,000 yard season in the history of the league. And making that even more impressive: Peterson has only started 5 of the games and has split carries an many games with Chester Taylor! He’s averaging 6.6 yards per carry, over a yard more than Marion Barber’s 5.4, which is second among backs that have taken 100+ carries. Peterson should be getting as much coverage as Tom Brady and his nearly perfect season. We can only hope that he doesn’t tire out as the season goes on and that the pounding on his body hamper him too much. (Cadillac Williams had 434 yards over his first 3 games only to pick up under 2,000 yards since then due to wear and injury.) If Peterson stays healthy, expect him to be one of the best in history.

Ohio State, my condolences in advance.
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Ohio State is living the dream at the top of the national rankings thanks to upsets of tens of teams that have actually played other decent Division 1-A schools. How much would Oregon or LSU or Oklahoma or even Florida beat Ohio State by? 20? 30? The Buckeyes have a solid defense; or rather they haven’t played against a good offensive team all year. (Although those Youngstown St. Penguins sure can move the ball down field!) Michigan, who as we all know, lost to Appalachian St. Week 1 and got romped by Oregon Week 2 to start the season as poorly as anyone could ever hope to, has sneakily won eight straight games, and now Chad Henne and Mike Hart are both getting healthy. They play Ohio State in the last week of the season at a home stadium that will be “rockin’” as they say. Along with Henne and Hart, Jake Long, their Right Tackle, might be the number one overall pick in the upcoming draft and Mario Manningham is one of the top wideouts in the country. Look for Michigan to dethrone the number 1 (that is, if they survive the Illini this weekend) Buckeyes and make their push to a BCS bowl game.

Travis Henry, life gave you a second chance, and you blew that one too!
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Henry’s season, like his career, started out so promising. After demanding a trade after the 2004 season in which he yielded carries to Willis McGahee, Henry got stuck in then-hapless Tennessee, and making matters worse, promptly failed a drug test. Life gave Henry a second chance this year, after many thought the bright point of his career had passed. He was shipped to Denver and given the opportunity to be the starting running back. Keep in mind that my grandmother Silvia could run for 1,000 yards in the Denver offense. It was the perfect situation. Henry failed another drug test and faces a year-long suspension, but continues to play while the ruling is appealed. But on the field, Henry is hardly making up for his behavior. After leading the league in rushing through 4 weeks, Henry has been useless since then, guiding the Broncos to a 3-5 record and limping off the field after every other play. The only category he leads the league in now is pathetic injuries per game (pi/g). Bring on Selvin Young!

Things You Should Be Hearing More About

2007-05-22T00:40:00.000-05:00

-AJ Nicholson was probably the most talented football player on the board in the 5th round of the 2006 NFL Draft, but as we've seen time and again, with raging idiots like Maurice Clarrett, these character gambles usually aren't worth it. I watched Nicholson play at Florida State, and I was very impressed--the guy was all over the field. But he was also accused of rape in December of 2005, and was suspended for the Orange Bowl that season. And I mean when you have a squeaky clean resume like Kobe Bryant, it's easy to overlook one small little insignificant sexual assault case, but Nicholson couldn't use the "one little mistake" excuse. He was also on 6 month probation for part of his FSU tenure due to a DUI and a charge of resisting arrest which was eventually dropped.
Furthermore, once on the Bengals, it came out that Nicholson broke into his own Seminole teammate's apartment and stole $1700!? Is there a less respectable act than theft of a teammate? Thus, when Nicholson was accused of striking his girlfriend, the Bengals likely jumped at the chance to make an example out of a backup player with a history of crime. The good news is, I actually buy the fact that Marvin Lewis would have forced management to pass on an AJ Nicholson if he was available in the 5th round of this year, and that is progress. It's amazing what effect nine little arrests can have on an organization.

-I know nobody loves a good story. Sex and violence is what sells. But when all we ever hear about is arrest after arrest after arrest in the NFL, it was refreshing to hear a nice story. After getting traded to the Texans, Ahman Green put in a call to defensive back Jason Simmons to inquire about the chance of getting his old jersey number, 30. Simmons said Green sounded nervous, and Green expected to have to unload a good deal of money to get the number, as athletes often do nowadays. Instead, Simmons asked Green to make a down payment on a house for a single parent, and will take no money for himself.
Why doesn't stuff like this happen more often? If Simmons, who made "only" a million dollars last season, can turn down the chance for more money in favor of charitable offerings, why can't the superstars who make 20 million at least do it for the image? Instead of Kobe giving his wife a 4 million dollar ring, couldn't he have gotten her a 3.5 million dollar ring, and donated $500,000 to Planned Parenthood or something? If guys won't do it for the morals, at least they can spare some pocket change to be seen as caring human beings. Good for you Jason Simmons, whoever you are.

-Tim Lincecum is my favorite pitcher in the MLB (other than Dice-K who is excluded whenever I mention any superlative that he fits the category for). You might not know about him just yet, but give him a few more weeks and you'll recognize the name. Lincecum is a 22-year old pitcher that recently got called up for the San Francisco Giants, who have a tremendous young pitching staff, despite the recent failures of Barry Zero. Noah Lowry, Matt Cain, and Matt Morris have all been phenomenal with ERA's hovering around 3.00 despite their mediocre records. Lincecum is more talented than any of them. I may be exaggerating here, but I really believe this guy is the kind of guy that could end up with 300 wins; the kind of Greg Maddux/Roger Clemens type guy who will be consistently great for 15 or 20 years.
His stuff is unbelievable--a Zito-like curveball, a high-nineties heater (that occasionally even hits triple digits), and a remarkable changeup among other things. During his 2006 and early 2007 campaigns, Lincecum struck out the highest percentage of batters of any minor league pitcher in the last ten years. That's insane. He also went 4-0 this year in the California League, a AAA league that is regarded as a "hitter's league", surrendering only one run in 32 innings. He's the real deal. Lincecum struggled in his first MLB start, giving up four earned runs, but he's already adapting, having given up only two runs with 16 strikeouts in the 14 innings pitched over his last two starts. His fourth MLB start is tomorrow (Tuesday) night, and I expect big things. Hell, I expect a perfect game--and the Giants might still lose.

-Yi Jianlian is the most intriguing guy in the NBA Draft. As I await my Celtics inevitable fate in tomorrow night's lottery (I'm expecting the fourth pick at best), I can't help but be enticed by this mystery Chinese baller. He's the ultimate question mark--hell, nobody even knows whether the kid is 19, 22, or 24. Nonetheless, the guy is a super-athletic 7-foot forward who apparently has an enormous repertoire of developed skills and a high basketball IQ. Yao says that Yi is better than him, and I believe anything Yao says. Jianlian could go anywhere from pick 3 to the bottom of the lottery, but it will be a struggle for teams to resist him. They just have to assess whether he will be a Yao Ming/Pao Gasol/Dirk Nowitzki/Manu Ginobili superstar, or a Yaroslav Korolev/Sergei Monya/Fran Vasquez/Nikoloz Tskitishvili super-bust. (I'm not sure whether I'm proud orembarrassed that I knew all of those names off the top of my head. I didn't even check the spellings.)

Unforgivable Suns?

2007-05-15T18:12:00.000-05:00

I've never been so furious in my life.

The NBA has just announced that both Boris Diaw and Amare Stoudemire will be suspended for Game 5 of the Phoenix Suns-San Antonio Spurs series. As Stephen A. Smith would say, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS! As Bill Walton would say, POSSIBLY THE WORST DECISION IN THE HISTORY OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION! There are several major flaws with this decision by David Stern. First of all, the Suns are getting mightily punished for an archaic rule that needs to be destroyed. They should send the rule to the supreme court and highlight its unconstitutionality.

After Cheap Shot Rob delivered a Scott Stevens-caliber shoulder check (note the rare hockey reference), sending should-be MVP Steve Nash into basketball's version of the boards, Boris Diaw and Amare Stoudemire, along with the rest of the Suns bench, showed tremendous restraint. Any good team player's natural reaction to a violent cheap-shot dilevered to any teammate, let alone their team leader and best player, would be to protect said teammate. If I was Stoudemire or Diaw, I would have done far worse, likely attacking Robert Horry in a fit of rage. Instead, both player's showed phenomenal self-control, suppressing natural instincts and quickly settling down and returning to the bench, rather than instigating an altercation. The pair of players should be rewarded for their rapid defusing of well-deserved fury, which was the deciding factor in avoiding a brawl that would have been detrimental to the NBA, not punished for standing up and taking a step forward. Amare hardly even stepped foot on the court! It's a senseless rule; how can two crucial players get suspended for doing nothing, while Raja Bell, the only Sun who actually made contact with Horry, is fine simply because he happened to be already on the court at the time?

Furthermore, the Suns have continued to get screwed over in this series. Phoenix lost the first game of the series when a technicality forced Nash to miss the final minute because of the blood on his nose. Then, when Nash was blatantly kneed in the balls by a consistently dirty player in Bruce Bowen, Bowen was not suspended. He has already tried to kick Amare Stoudemire's legs out from under him on an uncontested dunk earlier in the series. Look! Yet Bruce Bowen has yet to be punished for his outrageous behavior, while Stoudemire and Diaw will watch a pivotal Game 5 in (NBA-dress code approved) street clothes. Furthermore, watch Fabricio Oberto set screens for the final 2 or 3 games of the series--every one of them is illegal. Not only does he move when setting them, he leans, bumps, and almost always grabs as defenders attempt to get through.

The final argument against this traveshamockery, and perhaps the most convincing one, is the fact that Tim Duncan left the bench in the second quarter when there seemed to be a potential confrontation involving Francisco Elson, only to be pulled back by Bruce Bowen. Duncan crossed the three point line, and was clearly on the court, but he did not get reprimanded for the same actions that will cost Diaw and Stoudemire. Watch for yourself. Despite this stern attempt for sabbotage, I still believe that the Suns will only be fueled by the indignities, and expect them to win the series in seven games. The NBA needs to review old rules like this one that are continuing to color the fate of the playoffs before more seasons are ruined by them. VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

Dear...

2007-05-14T16:39:00.000-05:00

Sean O'Hair, will you think things through next time?
Yeah, I know you don't aim for second place, but you acted like Ricky Bobby. "If you ain't first, your last!" But Sean, as Reese Bobby wisely pointed out, you could be "Second, third, fourth...hell you could even be fifth!" And if you're a complete moron like you, Sean O'Hair, you can be 11th. You tried to be daring. I respect a risk-taker, but there's a fine line between being gutsy, and being flat-out idiotic. Who am I kidding, it's not even a fine line, it's a thick red line that you completely disregarded. And you know what? It cost you three-quarters of a million dollars! $750,000! You were +4 on 17 because you tried to be a hero, and you ended up putting the ball in the water, then you bogeyed 18. I don't feel bad for you. You're like one of those Deal or No Deal contestants who is homeless and is being offered $300,000, but all the have left is the $750,000 and the penny, and you scream NO DEAL HOWIE! Then you lose everything and your still homeless, and you expect sympathy?

Golden State Warriors, pleeeease stay alive!
If ever there was an acceptable time to rig the results of sporting events, this is it. I'm all for the integrity of the game, but c'mon, everyone wants to see a Warriors-Suns Western Conference Finals. If the Jazz play the Spurs and the Pistons play...anyone, I'm going to be pounding Pepsi just to stay awake for the games. The Warriors are being talked about more than any NBA team during the playoffs in my lifetime. Even people that don't follow basketball are rooting for them. Hell, I think even some of the Jazz backups are rooting for them. They run and gun, and that's all anyone wants to see. Plus, Baron Davis is an absolute God. Did you see that dunk? I thought he borrowed Gilbert Arenas' trampoline at first.

Brett Favre, shut the f*#% up!
I don't care whether you asked for a trade or not, I despise you more than any athlete in the world, save Roger Clemens. You can't complain about the failures of the Packers franchise to get marquee players to help you, because YOU are single-handedly killing the franchise. Every off-season, the entire organization waits and waits and waits for you to decide if you're coming back to throw 63 more interceptions next season, and you push the deadlines for decision back. They should make it a Pope-like thing, and when you've decided, maybe you can send white smoke out of your chimney. You complain about other players, but YOU have become one of the biggest quarterback liabilities in the league. The last two years, you have thrown just 38 touchdowns and an utterly repulsive 47 (Yes, FORTY-SEVEN) interceptions. You were a great quarterback in your prime, a hall-of-famer, but now you simply can't perform, so you don't have the right to keep the entire city waiting every year, to keep acting like you ARE the Green Bay Packers. The mere concept that you would have the audacity to request a trade made me throw up a little bit in my mouth, followed by an extended fit of laughter. No other team in the entire league would take you for that amount of money, and you couldn't start anywhere else either. You were the Packers, so they endure you, but patience is running thin, so just shut the f*#% up and be grateful that they continue to allow you to throw their footballs into opponents hands.

Bruce Bowen, you better be grateful to be playing in Game 4
I was one of the few who defended Kobe's suspensions for his flailing elbow's this season, which Phil Jackson referred to as a witch hunt. He was right--only there was really a witch, and they caught her. I defended Raja Bell's suspension in last year's playoffs when he clotheslined Kobe. Artest was suspended for an elbow in the 2006 playoffs as well. Hell, they even suspended Udonis Haslem in the playoffs for throwing a freakin' mouthguard. So why can you, Bruce, get away with a blatantly intentional knee to Steve Nash's man-parts? You have consistently been a dirty player that walks that line of dirty vs. hard-nosed, and you've gotten away with it. But I'm sick of the "accidental" undercuts when contesting shots that have sprained shooter's ankles, sick of the grabbing, sick of all your dirty little tricks.

Augustus Gilchrist, don't do this to Virginia Tech!
For my readers who don't know who you are, you are a highly-touted committed Virginia Tech basketball recruit who has decided not to attend in the wake of the recent tragedy. You say you are "not mentally prepared to go there for this year." First of all, the school shooting was indeed tragic, but it could occur at any school in the country. You can't let this misguided fear prevent you from attending the university. And secondly, you signed a letter of intent to go to VT, and they need you now more than ever. In times of tragedy, sports is one of those few things that can bring people joy, unite them in happiness again, like the Saints did for New Orleans after Katrina. If people like you bail on them now, the impact is far more profoud on Virginia Tech than you realize. If you set a precedent, and other athletes revoke their commitments as well, then shame on you Mr. Gilchrist. Shame on you.

Pacman Jones' Lawyers, don't waste your time!
"A decision on Titans cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones' appeal for leniency from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell will be delayed while lawyers complete paperwork."
Well don't waste your time on this low-life. Pacman has more arrests in the last two years than the entire Bengals and the Trailblazers teams combined. Even the other players, who always defend their fellow athletes, don't want leniency for Pacman. They don't want to be seen as a homogeneous group of thugs; guys like Jones are just disgusting exceptions. So don't waste your time trying to appeal the suspension--it's already lenient! He should be kicked out of the league! He should probably be in jail! Let him sit behind bars with Paris Hilton, maybe he can protect her, and she can style his dreads.

Dear...

2007-05-06T17:14:00.000-05:00

Boxing, you are at fault for your own fall from grace!
I'm sick of hearing all this crap about how boxing needed to be saved by the De La Hoya-Mayweather fight. The fight lived up to all the hype, and it's not going to come close to saving the sport. And it's not just because UFC is more interesting. Nor is it because there aren't great boxers and interesting characters fighting right now. I don't even think it's because there are like 76 different champions/belt-holders. You know why I didn't watch "the greatest fight in decades"? Because I didn't have the $55 sitting around that it would've cost me to order it. And I'm privileged enough to have actually considered it. If you really want boxing to regain some of its interest--to re-assert itself as the premier fighting sport in the country--maybe you should consider making some of the better fights readily available to the average American. Most people who watch UFC watch it when it happens to be on regular cable--which is essentially every day. I have no sympathy for the recent failures of boxing because every other sport with major interest makes itself constantly available to the American public. Imagine if the Super Bowl, the entire NFL playoffs, and even the better regular season games were all on Pay-Per-View for upwards of $50; do you really think it would maintain its popularity? If you want to return to the glory days of boxing popularity, broadcast some fights on ABC or NBC, or at least ESPN.

Dirk Nowitzki, you really don't have any pride, do you?
I went from loving Dirk when he first took the NBA by storm, to having almost no respect for him in a period of several years. At this point, although I know the playoffs technically can't be considered for the regular season NBA MVP, giving the award to Dirk would be like giving the Titanic the "MVB" Award (Most Valuable Boat) after already being aware that it crashed into an iceberg and killed 1500 innocent people. Meanwhile the boat with the best court-vision in the league is perusing the waters. Not only did Dirk stink all series long, but he had all the resolve and confidence of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. In Game 6, Dirk went 2-13 from the field and scored 8 points en route to being handed the most embarrassing exit in the history of the NBA...MVP! MVP! MVP!
Please.

Barbaro, leave us alone!
You died months ago. You were a freakin' horse. I have nothing against you personally Barbaro, but as the Kentucky Derby approached, people began to reminisce about you, just when I thought you had finally stopped annoying the crap out of me. I listened to more stories about kids sending you thousands of get well cards. I listened to reporters say that they could tell you were "an incredibly charismatic horse" who "captured the heart of everyone who knew" you. I listened to more mourning of your death while thousands of human beings were dying on a daily basis in Darfur. I even learned that yesterday NBC aired a documentary about you. I'm sorry you met your terrible fate, but you were a genetically calculated project whose life was created to be whipped by a diminuitive man so that hundreds of millions of dollars could be wagered on you by indulgent, old, white men; each of whom believes that they know more than everyone else.

Steve Nash, how did that feel?
No, not the enormous gash that was gushing blood all over the place. I know how that feels. I meant sitting on the bench for the last 45 seconds of what could prove to be a crucial Game 1 and watching your team and your replacement blow the game. Don't get me wrong, I'm Barbosa's biggest advocate, (I almost called him Barbaro because I'm still caught up on my hatred of that horse) but I can't imagine playing the whole game only to watch him miss a contested three and then get called for an intentional foul (albeit a terrible call). Just wanted to send my condolences Steve.

Roger Clemens, I LOATHE you!
And no, it's not just because I'm a bitter Red Sox fan. It's because you announced your comeback from Steinbrenner's box and on the big screen during the 7th inning stretch like a hero from a movie. It's because you're 45 years old and taking 28 million dollars for one uncertain year. It's because you named all of your kids things that start with K in honor of your own strikeouts. It's because you said you wanted to move closer to home, then went to Toronto because they gave you more money. It's because you act as though you're above everyone else in the world, you selfish, lying, shameless, overweight waste of a human being who happens to be the greatest pitcher of the last 25 years!

Chicago Bulls, who are you?
After getting me so excited that I nearly creamed in my knickers (to use a British term) with the first-round shelacking of the Miami Overheated, you came out in the first game against the Pistons and flat-out embarressed yourselves. I have the Bulls winning the JVeastern Conference, in addition to a man-crush in the uber-athletic Tyrus Thomas, whose physique would cause Bill Walton to say "he looks like something that Michaelangelo would have sculpted!" Needless to say, I was disturbed by the Bulls failure to so much as appear to be the Pistons' opposition. Game 2 is absolutely enormous for the Bulls; not so much winning the game, but merely re-gaining confidence and asserting that they belong and can compete with the Pistons, which they have the weapons to do, and did during the regular season series (3-1 Bulls).

Shane Battier, you blew the entire series!
I gave Shane Battier the Best Role Player award! You'd think that a great selfless role player who has very few distinguishing skills that make him an NBA player other than leadership and great basketball IQ, would understand that when you are down 2 with 9 seconds left, and the other team has the ball, you need to foul. Instead, Battier let Deron Williams pass the ball out of the trap and the clock ran down to 1 second remaining as the Rockets hung their heads with dismay. Okay, it wasn't the only reason they lost the series, and they likely would have lost the game anyways, but it was a fatal, idiotic, mindless, enormous mistake.
-Sidenote: Deron Williams was breaking so many ankles that I couldn't remember which point guard was "Skip To My Lou".

Tracy McGrady, I'll bet you're hurting!
This title seemed clever when I thought of it because of the double meaning. Everyone knows that McGrady must be hurting from the fact that he's been in the league for 9 years now and never advanced out of the first round of the playoffs. But physically, I believe McGrady has been in far more pain than he has let on. I literally didn't see T-Mac dunk once in the entire seven game series. I remember the 2000 dunk contest, the greatest contest in NBA history, McGrady's athleticism was equivalent to his cousin Carter, though his dunks were just a smidgeon off cuz's pace. While Carter continues to put down thunderous dunks that seem nearly impossible, McGrady opts for crafty runners and reverse layups. He turns 28 this month; theres no reason why he would no longer have supreme athleticism other than injury. I strongly believe that T-Mac's back was significantly hampering him, and he simply refused to admit it.

I'll be back with more rants soon.

The Thermometer: Who's Hot and Who's Not

2007-04-28T11:53:00.001-05:00

Chicago Bulls - 300 Degrees (F)
I love the Bulls! I even picked them to come out of the Eastern Conference and meet the Suns in the NBA Finals! The Bulls are making me look really good right now, which is a first. Luol Deng, who made my "Don't Forget About Me! Team", is performing like the superstar that he is. He is probably the fourth most recognized player on the team, behind Hinrich, Gordon, and Wallace, but Deng has been the driving force that has led the Bulls to a 3-0 lead over the Heat, contributing 28 points, 8 rebounds, and 4 assists per game thus far. The Bulls meet all the criteria of a great team despite their youth, and I expect them to continue to roll and eventually upset the heavily favored Detroit Pistons

Jason Kidd - 212 Degrees
Kidd put forth one of the most impressive performances of my lifetime last night to carry the Nets to a 2-1 lead over the Toronto Raptors. He finished Game 3 with 16 points, 16 rebounds, and 19 assists. I'm not sure if I need to point this out, but that's insane! There have only been three 15-15-15 games in the entire history of the playoffs! How the hell did the Raptors let a point guard reel in 16 rebounds!? I'm overwhelmed by how amazing this is! And I'm someone who consistently wore my Kidd "Wife Beater" shirt to the Celtics games; I have always hated Kidd and the Nets, but he's been unbelievable. At 34 years old, I wasn't sure how much Kidd had left in the tank coming into this postseason, but he's EASILY averaging a triple-double with 13 points, 14 assists, and 12 rebounds per game through the first three of this series. He was surprisingly under the radar over the course of the season, but he averaged an impressive 13 points, 9 assists, and 8 rebounds per match. Kidd has the Nets playing amazingly, and Carter has avoided the tragic, career-threatening injuries that have plagued his past, and I actually expect them to reach the Eastern Conference Finals. Had Nenad Krstic not torn his ACL near the beginning of the season, the Nets would be poised for a run at the Championship. That being said, Mikki Moore has filled in remarkably well for a man who spent most of his career in the NBDL and tending to albino boa constrictors. (Really, he has two of them. He's absolutely nuts.)

Golden State Warriors - 200 Degrees
While most of my NBA Playoff predictions are going fantastically, like many so-called "experts", I expected the Mavericks to roll over the Warriors. No dice. Golden State has been playing much like the Phoenix Suns, ripping the ball out of the net and pushing it as fast as possible, spreading out the defense with penetration and kicks for open threes. I thought Bill Walton was going to call them the best team in the history of Western civilization last night. Not only have Jason Richardson and Baron Davis been great, but guys like Monta Ellis, Stephen Jackson, Mickael Pietrus, Andris Biedrins, Al Harrington, and Matt Barnes have all been contributing nicely. It's true that this team is overachieving right now, but look at that list; they have a lot of very solid players. That being said, if Dirk Nowitzki is taken out of his cryogenic freezing machine and the Mavericks start playing like a 67 win team and stop playing like Iona College, they can easily win this series in 6 or 7 games. But if they don't get under control and turn things around, the Warriors will definitely take advantage, so they better come out prepared for the rest of the series.

Brady Quinn's Girlfriend - 120 Degrees
Self-Explanatory.

Phoenix Suns - 102 Degrees
Kobe won the the one game that I expected him to single-handedly take from the Suns, but Phoenix has been impressive nonetheless. Despite Kobe's 45 point performance, and a great game from Lamar Odom, and a surprisingly good game from Kwame Brown, and an absolutely terrible game by Shawn Marion, the Suns were STILL tied with a few minutes left in the fourth quarter. This is their year. Barbosa is awesome. Nash is a God. Marion and Stoudemire can jump over buildings. Raja Bell has developed a great shot, is a fantastic defender, and can always strangle Kobe or something. Kurt Thomas and Boris Diaw are great off the bench. They even have Jalen Rose on their team...is anyone even aware of this? Finally, the scariest thing--they will likely get a top 5 draft pick this year from the Joe Johnson-Boris Diaw trade. That's not even fair; imagine this team with Al Horford! Or better yet: Yi Jianlian!

Alex Rodriguez - 98 Degrees
Had I written this article a few days ago, when A-Rod was on pace for 120 homers, 300 RBIs, and batting .400, he would've been off the charts. However, maybe A-Rod has begun his descent back to humanity, going 1-10 with no RBI or extra base hits over the last 3 games. Okay, it's not much of a lapse, but I hate A-Rod and his average is down to a mere .365 now! Come on, it's only a matter of time before he stops hitting every pitch out of the park. Before you know it, he'll be batting .096 in the playoffs and Yankee fans will be booing him all over again!

Houston Rockets - 90 Degrees
I've already written enough about how much I love the Rockets. They lost the ugliest game ever in their first road game of the series, but they'll still win easily. Yao and McGrady have both been awesome. I have them beating the Mavericks in the next round, if the Mavs survive that long.

Sammy Sosa - 85 Degrees
Four games ago, I was ready to write off Sosa even reaching 600 homers. I thought his career was over; he was batting .186 and had been pathetic all season long. In the last four games, he's 8 for 16 with 3 home runs and 7 RBI, raising his batting average by nearly 70 points. I would say I'm happy for him, but I want to check his bat for cork, test him for steroids, and make sure he didn't inject himself with Klingon DNA first.

Daisuke Matsuzaka - Room Temperature
This one kills me since I have an unhealthy obsession with The Gun from the Rising Sun. He's still been very solid, and his "stuff" is good enough to make him the top pitcher in the league, so us Sox fans are far from upset. Still, his 3-2 record with a 4.36 ERA are not nearly as impressive as I would have hoped. Granted, I expect a no-hitter every time he steps on the mound. His control problems are the only thing holding him back right now, and he seems to give up all his runs in spurts. Whatever, I'm still going to teach myself Japanese in case I ever meet him.

Brady Quinn - 32 degrees
Poor Brady just kept dropping on Saturday, as we've seen with many top-notch quarterbacks in recent years (Ben Roethlisberger, Aaron Rodgers, Matt Leinart). Luckily, Brady still has a really hot girlfriend and will have the last laugh when the Dolphins have no quarterback and Quinn is thriving.

Mark Prior - 0 Degrees
As someone who has suffered multiple severe injuries and surgeries myself, I feel Mark Prior's pain. I'll be happily surprised if he ever steps on an MLB mound again. As far as I'm concerned, his career is over. But so was Sammy Sosa's last week according to me, so there is hope yet Mr. Prior.

Dirk Nowitzki - -50 Degrees
There's a reason why Dwyane Wade blamed Dirk for not carrying the Mavs in the Playoffs last year. There's a reason why I've said time and time again that Dirk is not the most VALUABLE player. There's a reason why the Warriors were less than terrified of taking on this Mavericks team. Dirk Nowitzki disappears when the Mavs need him most. If you only watched the playoffs, you'd think Josh Howard was supposed to be their best player. Dirk is shooting only 38%, and despite putting up 20 ppg in the three games, he just looks extremely average. He seems to slow to dominate. He just isn't behaving the heart and soul of his team like superstars do in the playoffs.

Miami Dolphins - Absolute Zero
What the hell were they thinking!? People had talked about Miami TRADING UP to get Brady Quinn! Then, he falls into their hands at pick number 9, and they take Ted Ginn Jr., essentially a track star who occasionally catches footballs? Plus, he's coming off a relatively serious foot injury. It's as if the Dolphins were desperately trying to set up an entertainment room, but they don't have a TV yet, and somebody said to them, "Hey, you can either have this flat-screen 62-inch Plasma TV, or this XBOX 360?" And the Dolphins took the XBOX 360, and they've yet to realize that they don't have a TV to play it on.

And here are the Playoff Predictions that I keep referencing (I swear I made them before the Playoffs started, it's documented on Facebook!):

Dallas Over Golden State in 5
Houston Over Utah in 6
San Antonio Over Denver in 6
Phoenix Over LA in 5
Detroit Over Orlando in 5
Chicago Over Miami in 6
New Jersey Over Toronto in 6
Cleveland Over Washington in 4

Conference Semis
Houston Over Dallas in 6
Phoenix Over San Antonio in 7
Chicago Over Detroit in 6
New Jersey Over Cleveland in 7

Conference Finals
Phoenix Over Houston in 7
Chicago Over New Jersey in 6

Finals
Phoenix Over Chicago in 7

These Are the NBA Awards that would be Given if I was Commissioner

2007-04-18T13:47:00.000-05:00

It's been a hell of an NBA season, full of historically great teams, as well as notably bad ones, like my Celtics. The top players have shined more than ever, with Nash, Dirk, and Kobe all making dazzling MVP cases. While the Mavs, Suns, and Spurs continued to dominate, other teams had their seasons either hampered (Clippers, Rockets, Heat) or shattered (Hornets, Bucks, Celtics, Sonics, soon-to-be Wizards) by injuries. In a season like this one, handing out the awards can be even more difficult. Let me start the awards that actually exist in the NBA:

MVP - Steve Nash
Maybe Dirk Nowitzki has been the most impressive player this year, and his team has the best record, and he is the sexy choice for MVP, but it's important to remember that MVP stands for Most VALUABLE Player. And when you ask yourself who the most valuable player to any of the top teams in the league is, there is little question who deserves the award. With Nash, the Suns were an impressive 59-17 this year, and in the six games he missed due to injury, a measly 2-4. Without Nash, I don't even know whether the Suns would make the playoffs. Without Dirk, the Mavs probably still win 50 games. Yes, Dirk is their go-to-guy and best player, but he's just another scorer in a potent offense. Taking Nash away from the Suns is like taking Brady away from the Patriots, whereas Dirk away is more like the Colts losing Marvin Harrison; sure it hurts, but they still have Manning (Jason Terry) throwing to Reggie Wayne (Josh Howard), and a bunch of other formidable options. OK, calling Terry Peyton Manning is an embarrassment to the quarterback, but it was for the sake of argument. Unlike Dirk, Nash is the engine that makes the entire Suns team run. Amare Stoudemire and Shawn Marion are great, but Nash makes them look like superheroes. There's a reason why guys like Joe Johnson, Quentin Richardson, Boris Diaw, etc. have all gone from mediocre players to superstars while playing with Nash. And if you are caught up on statistics, Nash's are better than they've been in either of the last two years, both seasons in which he won the MVP. In addition to the almost 19 points and 12 assists per game, he is shooting an astounding 53% from the field, which makes him 14th in the NBA in that category. Tony Parker is the only other guy under 6'5" that's even in the top 30. Okay, I'm done justifying, Nash gets the MVP, and if you don't agree, well f*%# you. You're wrong, and this is my blog.

Rookie of the Year - Brandon Roy?
I was tempted to just give this one to Greg Oden so that him and Durant could both have one. This was a pathetic year for rookies. For all the talk of JJ Redick vs. Adam Morrison, Morrison looked extremely mediocre and shot horribly from everywhere there is to shoot all season long (37.6% fgs, 33.7% 3pts, and 71% fts) and JJ Redick couldn't even locate Orlando's athletic facility until the end of the season. I was starting to think he had secretly gotten a job as Minnie Mouse, giving hugs to the little girls in Disney World until he stumbled onto the court one night. As for the winner of the award, Roy did put up almost 17 ppg, but it was for the Portland Jailblazers who haven't won a game since Arvydas Sabonis was dropping dimes at the top of the key. Furthermore, Roy only played in 57 games this season. He only gets the virtual hardware for two reasons: One, who else was I gonna give it to? Andrea Bargnani? The rookies just flat-out sucked this year. And two, i think its great that Roy is the ROY. Roy ROY. Okay, that was great. On to the next award...

Defensive Player of the Year - Marcus Camby
Camby should get his own special award just for staying healthy for the majority of the season. Although I shouldn't speak too soon--he just sat out to rest for the playoffs with a mysteriously "bruised knee". I wonder if him and Grant Hill call each other up at the beginning of each season and make wagers on who will play in more games in the upcoming year. But I truly believe that on a team with Allen Iverson AND Carmelo Anthony, Camby is the MVP. As a defensive player, Camby easily led the league in blocks per game, was second in defensive rebounds per game, and even in the top 30 in steals per game. Only 20 other guys in the entire league even averaged over 1.5 blocks per game, and Camby averaged 3.3. The next guy on the list is Josh Smith with 2.88, and he plays for the Hawks so his statistics don't count. There should be a rule that you need at least 50% attendance at home games for your stats to count towards league leaders. I'm honestly happy for Marcus Camby that he had such a great season, and stayed on the court for 70 games, which would be potentially disappointing for other stars, but is remarkable for him. Plus, I am biased towards him because of his glory days at UMASS. I actually have a UMASS hat that's signed by Camby, but I almost traded it for a normal Patriots hat because it was too injury prone. The brim kept getting bent inexplicably and stuff... I also recently learned that Camby aspires to be an elementary school principal. I wonder if the NBA will give him a stipend to buy his suits to meet principal-dress-code regulations.

Comeback Player of the Year - Amare Stoudemire
I was one of those doubters, those miserable naysayers, those pessimistic pricks who, when Amare had the microfracture in his knee, I said "He'll never be good again! The only thing that makes him good is his supreme athleticism, and now it's gone forever! He'll suck for the rest of his career!" Well, thank you Amare for shutting me up. I couldn't be happier for this guy; he looked at idiots like me and laughed. He's in as good form as ever, which is really freakin' good--as Bill Walton likes to say, he is the winner of the genetic lottery. He's also developed a nice little jump shot, an inkling of post moves, and greatly improved his rebound efficiency. Nobody is more deserving of this award than Amare. (He also has a tattoo on his neck that says "Black Jesus"...I always liked that.)

Sixth Man - Leandro Barbosa
Barbosa is like some kind of misplaced track star who has magically become one of the most accurate three-point shooters in the league. Much like Stoudemire, and thousands of other guys, Barbosa proved me utterly and completely wrong. When I watched him play as a rookie, Barbosa looked even more out of control than Marcus Banks, if that is humanly possible. I knew he was lightning fast and had tons of "upside", but I just never thought they were gonna get this kid to play under control and amount to anything. Coming off the bench most of the time, Barbosa is averaging 18 points per game--more than Shawn Marion and just less than Nash and Amare. He has also taken an assist to turnover ratio which was once pathetic, and made it very respectable with 4 assists and only 1.8 turnovers per game. But most importantly, he just allows the Suns to play at that frantic, insane tempo. When Barbosa and Nash are playing together, the Suns get up the court so quickly that you almost have to cheat to stop them (like Mike Dunleavy Sr. tried to do with the Clippers in last year's playoffs, having his team put the ball on the ground after each made basket). The emergence of Barbosa and the return of Stoudemire may be enough to take the Suns all the way this year.

Most Improved Player - Deron Williams
After an underwhelming rookie campaign that left Jazz fans, well, and the rest of the world wondering why the hell they took this chubby mediocre point guard over Chris Paul with the third pick of the draft, Deron Williams changed his look and his production. Williams slimmed down into great shape, maintaining his strong frame, and transformed himself from an unimpressive point guard to one of the best in the league in only his second season. I almost cheated and gave the award to him and Carlos Boozer, because the two of them have both been remarkably better than last year, and suddenly made the Jazz a good team, but Williams is the catalyst. After averaging 10.8 points and only 4.5 assists last year, he jumped all the way up to 16.2 and 9.3, phenomenal numbers for a good point guard. Whether he is better than Chris Paul remains to be seen, but its now safe to say that both teams got franchise point guards.

Coach of the Year - Jeff Van Gundy
I already wrote about how badly Van Gundy deserved this award in my Rest of the West article, but I will give a very brief recap here. Everyone wants to give it to Avery Johnson, who did a great job as well, leading the Mavs to a historically good season, but Van Gundy was a miracle worker just to get the Rockets into the playoffs, let alone 52 wins and the fifth best record in the NBA. McGrady played hurt most of the season, and Yao, my favorite player in the league and one of its most dominating players, missed almost half the season. Other than that, the Rockets have just a cast of role players, yet Van Gundy made the season a wildly successful one, and i just now getting his squad healthy again. Amazing.

NBA First Team
PG - Steve Nash
SG - Kobe Bryant
SF - Lebron James
PF - Dirk Nowitzki
C - Carlos Boozer

NBA Second Team
PG - Gilbert Arenas
SG - Vince Carter
SF - Carmelo Anthony
PF - Tim Duncan
C - Chris Bosh

NBA Third Team
PG - Deron Williams
SG - Tracy McGrady
SF - Kevin Garnett
PF - Amare Stoudemire
C - Yao Ming

Now for the fun part. These are the other awards that they should give out:

Most Opposite-of-Improved Player - Andrei Kiralenko
See the Rest of the West article for the full bashing of Kiralenko, but he has essentially countered the breakouts of Williams and Boozer with a break-in (if I may coin the term) of his own. After dominating the league defensively and improving every year, Kiralenko randomly dropped off the face of the Earth without any apparent reason. The Jazz won't get out of the first round because of it. I mean, theoretically he could turn back into the real Andrei Kiralenko at any moment, but I'm just not counting on it. He desperately needs to be traded; I think a change of scenery and a fresh new start is the only thing that can save his career.

Best Role Player - Shane Battier
As I've said, the Rockets are basically two superstars (McGrady and Yao) and a bunch of role players, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Not when the two stars are both almost unstoppable and the role players are really good role players. Battier is the classic glue guy and he really has held this team together, especially through the hard times of injury to McGrady and Yao. He is a lockdown defender, never craves more attention or scoring options, and is remarkably consistent with about 10 or 11 points per game. He can shoot from the outside to stretch the defense, or go down low a little bit, but he's always willing to let McGrady and Yao do the scoring. Battier is the kind of guy that wins you championships.

Worst Coach of the Year - Bob Hill
I know Rashard Lewis and Ray Allen both missed 20+ games this season, but of all the teams that completely sucked this year, the Sonics were the most talented. Even when they had their full lineup, Ridnour, Allen, Lewis, Collison, and Wilcox, the Sonics couldn't seem to get anything going. Look at that lineup. Ridnour has become a great point guard, Allen and Lewis are both bona fide superstars, Collison finally got the chance to do this year what he did at Kansas, averaging 10 points and 8 rebounds and banging down low, and Wilcox is extremely talented if not consistent (stay tuned for more on this). Off the bench, the Sonics have solid guys like Damien Wilkens, Earl Watson, and young talent in Johan Petro and Mickael Gelabale. You'd think Hill could've won more than 31 games with this team.

Worst Jump Shooter Under the Height of Six-Foot-Seven - Rajon Rondo
When Rajon Rondo shoots the ball from almost anywhere on the court, it just looks like it has absolutely no chance of going in. He's the single worst shooter I've ever seen at either of the guard spots. On the season, he was 6-29 from the arc (Doc probably told him it was okay for him to shoot threes being the excellent coach that he is...) and 64.7% from the free throw line. But I'm not trying to simply trash Rondo--it's astonishing that he is to some extent succeeding as an NBA guard without the ability to throw the ball at the basket. The only guy who even compares to his inability to shoot as a little guy is Speedy Claxton, who actually boosted his career three point percentage to 19.1% by hitting 6-28 from downtown this season, although his free throw percentage did drop to 55% this year and his fgs to 33%.

Human Victory Cigar of the Year - Pat Burke
Excluding the 4 game stretch that Nash missed before the All-Star break in which the Suns were undermanned, Phoenix is 18-1 in games in which Patt Burke appears. He's a regular Bill Russell! I look forward to seeing Burke's bald white head in the playoffs any time the Suns lock up a game.

Sexiest Attraction - Kobe Bryant
This is the award that people like to give as the MVP. Dirk is the other front-runner in this category, but he's not even close to Kobe as this year's sexiest attraction. I've never seen anything like it. He really is utterly unstoppable. Since Phil Jackson told Kobe to score more around the middle of March, Bryant has put 50 points up 7 times in just 17 games, including four consecutive games. He's also averaging 6 rebounds and 5 assists--dare I say he is a great team player? The point is that people, myself included, will watch the Lakers just to see Kobe put on a show like only he can. It's trule remarkable.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - Chris Wilcox
Wilcox is one of the most talented, athletic young big men in the entire league, and he shows it. Occasionally. Trust me, as someone who had Wilcox on my fantasy team, I know. Wilcox would put up games of 32 points and 18 rebounds, and come out the next night with a pathetic performance. It's maddening. When he decides to play, he's a dominant player, and when he doesn't feel like playing, he's terrible. Somebody should recommend that he shows up for all the games next year. Maybe if they fire Bob Hill, and somebody gets Wilcox to play, they'll actually win a couple games next year.

Most HPM (Highlights Per Minute) - Tyrus Thomas
Tyrus Thomas really likes being on TV. He's actually rapidly improving into an important and productive bench player that could help the Bulls a lot in the playoffs, but more importantly, he's a human highlight reel. Throughout the season, it seemed Thomas was on the Top 10 Plays at least once or twice per week, which is all the more impressive when you consider that he plays only 13 minutes per game. He's already dunked on more faces in the NBA than I have in my driveway on the 7-and-a-half foot hoop.

The Don't Forget About Me! Team (guys who are superstars, but don't get superstar recognition)
PG - Baron Davis
SG - Kevin Martin
SF - Luol Deng
PF - Mehmet Okur
C - Yao Ming

The All-Law-And-Order Team (guys with legal problems)
PG - Tony Allen
SG - Kobe Bryant
SF - Ron Artest
PF - Zach Randolph
C - Chris Webber

All-NBA Minorty Team (white guys)
PG - Steve Nash
SG - Mike Miller
SF - Luke Walton
PF - Dirk Nowitzki
C - Pau Gasol

All-Supercuts Team (guys who desperately need a haircut)
PG - Troy Hudson
SG - Adam Morrison
SF - Walter Herrman
PF - Anderson Varejao
C - Chris Kaman

Say It Ain't So Doc!

2007-04-12T13:36:00.000-05:00

Reportedly, talks are in the works between Danny Ainge and Doc Rivers regarding an extension for the Celtics coach. As a Celtics fan, I believe I speak for most depressed Celtics fans when I say...WHAT THE #%&*@!?!?

It's hard to remember that in the 2004-2005 season, Doc Rivers actually led the Celtics to a 45-37 record, first place in the Atlantic Division, and the third seed in the Eastern conference playoffs. Wait, it's all coming back to me now...Paul Pierce ripping off his jersey and swinging it around his head in Indiana...an idiotic prank in the press conference where he wrapped his jaw in tape to emphasize that he got fouled...and yes, a game seven 27-point home blowout at the hands of the 6 seed Indiana Pacers, a game which I was unlucky enough to attend. Anyways, the initial point was, it's hard to remember that only 2 seasons ago, Rivers actually had a relatively successful campaign.

Since then, the Celtics are a pathetic 56-102, getting progressively worse in each season. Don't blame this entirely on Danny Ainge, or the fact that the Celtics are young and have had injury troubles, or anything else. Over the last two years, the Celtics are 15-35 in games decided by five points or less. That's not talent; they've had the talent to position themselves for wins, and time after time, they lose. The coach deserves some blame for games like that. Another bewildering thing about Rivers is that the Celtics continue to be the only team in the NBA that legitimately has a "second line". While other coaches actually leave their best players in until they absolutely need a rest, working one or two bench players into the mix, Rivers insists on using entire line subs, as if the NBA were an in-town recreation league and parents will get mad if their sons don't play. Well, right now Doc doesn't have that luxury because the Celtics are more beat up than Apollo Creed in Rocky IV. I heard they called Dice-K to see if he had ever tried basketball. But when the Celtics have more than 7 players dressing, and are actually attempting to win basketball games, Doc consistently takes the entire starting lineup out for the first six minutes of the second and fourth quarters, and suicidal Celtics fans watch 10 point leads turn into deficits before Paul Pierce heaves up a last second shot that has a 12% chance of going in.

There is only one way that I can explain how little confidence the Boston fans have in Rivers. When there was buzz towards the middle of the season about Doc possibly getting fired, Celtics fans were distraught because we felt he was the only coach who could lead us to a chance at Oden or Durant. Look, Doc is a great guy. He always says the right thing. He's extremely charismatic and I always feel bad about trashing him after I see him in a press conference. Hey, he even called John Amaechi to give him support when the rest of the NBA gave him the cold shoulder after announcing that he was gay. But all that being said, Doc is just a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad coach.

The Rest of the West

2007-04-08T23:59:00.000-05:00

The Mavericks are good. The Suns are good. The Spurs are good. We know this much. But rumor has it, five more teams are also going to be allowed to play in the Western Conference playoffs this year. Some of them even have a legitimate chance to spoil the fun at the top for those Big Three.

Rocket Power

The Houston Rockets are one of the most dangerous teams in the NBA. The Rockets have fought a treacherous battle with the injury bug all year long. Tracy McGrady, who has become consummate team player (24 points, 5 rebounds, 6.4 assists per game), missed 10 games with back problems and has been playing through the injury all season. On top of McGrady's injury woes, Yao Ming has missed almost half the season--33 games--with a broken leg and back problems. Amazingly, between his injuries and Houston's seemingly unimpressive record, Yao is flying under the radar this year (other than the 6 billion Chinese fans that voted for him for the All-Star game). Yao is putting up an astonishing 25 points and 10 rebounds per game, making him the most productive true center in the league. Yao is putting up considerably more points per game than the likes of Tim Duncan, Elton Brand, Chris Bosh, etc. To put it in perspective, Yao has nearly identical numbers (points, rebounds, blocks) to what Brand put up last year when he was considered a legitimate MVP candidate. On top of those two crucial injuries, Bonzi Wells, who averaged 14 points and 8 rebounds per game in Sacramento last year, has missed 50 games, also with back problems. The Rockets should use their 2007 first round draft pick on a highly touted chiropractor.

While Avery Johnson will most likely win Coach of the Year Honors for the second straight season, Jeff Van Gundy's performance has been far more impressive, and I believe that he is more deserving of the award. Despite coach a team that at times was without a single star, Van Gundy has led the Rockets to a very respectable record (they will finish with upwards of 50 wins) in the NBA's premiere division. Nonetheless, the Rockets are getting healthy at the right time. With Yao, McGrady, and Wells all back on the court, they approach the playoffs at full strength. In addition to the league's best tandem, the Rockets have perfect roll players--Luther Head, Shane Battier, Juwon Howard, Bonzi Wells, Chuck Hayes, and of course, Skip to My Lou! (Rafer Alston). And perhaps the most important roll player come playoff time, Dikembe Mutombo will be essential in guarding opposing big men like Tim Duncan, especially when Yao gets in foul trouble. He also gives the Rockets the option of playing him alongside Yao, which makes them so tall that I've wondered whether they are the Monstars from Space Jam--nobody can enter the paint with the two intimidators both in there. Not only will the Rockets breeze by the Jazz in the first round, but I think the Rockets-Mavericks series in the second round will go 7 games, and the Rockets could come out on top. Don't overlook this team, they have a chance to do big things; but shhhhh, they're still flying under the radar.

The Best Collection of Players Wearing the Same Uniforms

The Denver Nuggets might have the best collection of players wearing the same uniforms of anyone in the playoffs. Unfortunately, they don't seem to have much of a team. With Camby and Nene both healthy at the same time, which is more rare than a lunar eclipse, the Nuggets have an extremely formidable frontcourt. Then you move to the wing players, and oh yeah, they have two of the top scorers in the entire league in Allen Iverson and Carmelo Anthony. The team is rounded off by Steve Blake, who has had a resurgence of his career since getting traded to Denver. He went from seldom-used backup the Portland Trailblazers (evidently he had too clean of a criminal record to make the starting lineup), to very competent starting point guard for the Nuggets--quite the improvement. Reggie Evans, Linas Kleiza, JR Smith, and Eduardo Najera can all make solid contributions as well. This Nuggets "team" is certainly not devoid of talent, but George Karl is faced with the nearly impossible task of getting them to play as a cohesive unit.

Despite their self-centered stars, Coach Karl has the Nuggets playing much better of late. If the Nuggets are successful in the playoffs it will be because of Allen Iverson's desire to win. Iverson realizes that his window to lead a team to the championship is closing. AI turns 32 this June, and everybody knows how badly he wants a ring; he may be willing to sacrifice the spotlight for a chance at sweet victory. Either way, it is safe to say that both the Suns and Spurs would rather face the Lakers in the first round than this star-studded team. I would personally love to see the run-and-gun battle that would ensue if the Nuggets and Suns met in the first round, rather than wasting the exciting Nuggets team against the boring to death Spurs and their appropriately gray uniforms. I would rather sit through calculus class than watch another Spurs-Pistons NBA Finals.

One Gun Short

The Utah Jazz were the hottest team to start the season, and though their position at the top of the West faded, they have not fallen off the face of the Earth like the Magic have after their early success in the JV Conference. Although the Jazz still seem like an underdog small market team, their lineup is quite impressive. Deron Williams has quickly emerged from a pudgy "bust" in his rookie year to one of the league's best point guards. Over the course of the season, Williams has put up 17 points and an almost Nash-like 9.5 assists per game. (Hey, I said almost.) Carlos Boozer is an absolute double-double machine, putting up 21 and 12, and never taking a game off. Mehmet Okur is having another terrific season; he is a dual threat big man who can pull opposing centers out with his three point range. These three players make up the core of a solid team, but it seems their one gun short of being a contender...the AK47.

AK47 AKA Andrei Kirilenko (all those A's and K's are hurting my head) is the top candidate for an award I like to give out each year, the MOIP--Most Opposite-of-Improved Player. After being a bona fide superstar for the last three years, Kirilenko has fallen off the face of the Earth. Last year Kirilenko averaged 15.3 points, 8 rebounds, 4.3 assists, 3.5 blocks, and 1.5 steals. This year? He's down significantly in every category: 8.5 points, 4.8 rebounds, 2.9 assists, 2 blocks, and 1.1 steal. He is also currently 16-75 from the three point line on the season (20%). At only 26 years of age, Kirilenko's fall from grace is somewhat inexplicable. I mean, we've come to expect him to turn his ankle on a weekly basis, so had he merely missed 20 games, we would have accepted it; but nobody expected him to play over 90% of the season and just flat out stink! Maybe the Space Jam Monstars from the Rockets stoke his talent?Kirilenko's embarrassing MOIP season puts the proverbial nail in the coffin for Utah's season. I'd be shocked if they last more than 5 or 6 games against the Rockets in the first round.

The Los Angeles Kobe's

I honestly thing Kobe Bryant can single-handedly win two games against one of the Big Three in the first round of the playoffs. I wonder what the most points per game any player has scored over a best-of-seven series...(sorry, I don't have Tony Reali to look it up for me.) Point is, Kobe is absolutely unstoppable, and Lamar Odom is good, but the team is just pathetic otherwise. Their starting lineup includes a guy name Smush, who happens to shoot 65% from the charity stripe and average under 3 assists per game despite playing 30 minutes as the starting point guard each night (Jamal Crawford and Nate Robinson are grinning with pride somewhere), a 7 foot center who just graduated elementary school, and Bill Walton's son. OK, Luke Walton is actually pretty good, but you get the point.

Not-So-Elite Eight

Who will the number 8 seed be? The LA Clippers? The Golden State Warriors? The New Orleans/Oklahoma City Nomads?...I mean Hornets
Does it really matter? The Dallas Walmart is already selling out of brooms.

The PIT is not the Pits!

2007-04-08T10:39:00.000-05:00

The Portsmouth Invitational Tournament (or the PIT) is the nation's oldest amateur basketball tournament. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the PIT, the tournament is available only to the best college seniors in the country. In recent years, the tournament has tended to contain second tier professional prospects--those who are not projected as early first round picks. This year, it has come to the public's attention that many NBA scouts are now complaining about the Portsmouth Invitational, saying that attending is a complete waste of time and money. And this has me steaming.

The Portsmouth Invitational Tournament gives opportunities to college players who have produced all year but are overlooked because they are a couple inches shorter than the average NBA player at their position, because they don't have a 42 inch vertical leap, because they don't have a 7'6" wingspan. Look at the PIT's history. Its alumni include Scottie Pippen, John Stockton, Rick Barry, Dave Cowens, and the list goes on. And while scouts argue that times have changed since players like that participated in the PIT, it has given opportunities to approximately 50 current NBA players, including the likes of Ben Wallace, Derek Fisher, Cuttino Mobley, PJ Brown, Ruben Patterson, etc. Last year alone, the PIT produced 10 NBA players, namely Chris Quinn, who has started at times for the championship-contending Miami Heat this year. On top of its NBA credentials, the majority of its participants go on to successful careers overseas.

NBA scouts continue to rip the tournament for its lack of first round talent. They say it's useless. But tell that to Dashaun Wood from Wright State, the Horizon league MVP who was overlooked because he's only 5'11" and the PIT has given him new life. Tell that to Stephane Lasme who was overlooked because he's already 24 years old, but the PIT has helped him solidify himself as a second round pick. Tell that to Division 2 standout Avis Wyatt from Virginia State who was able to show that he can compete against top notch D-1 players. I could go on, but you get the point. Maybe the tournament isn't packed with lottery picks, but how can we disregard a tournament as a waste of time when it gives unheralded players the chance to realize a dream year after year after year?

Here are some other names to keep your ears out for come NBA draft time that helped themselves at this year's Portsmouth Invitational Tournament:

Zabian Dowdell (Virginia Tech), a terrific scorer who can shoot from the outside, hit the mid-range jumper, or use his athleticism to get to the hoop. Overlooked because: He is only about 6'2" and a natural shooting guard.
NBA Comparison: Ronald "Flip" Murray

Mohammed Akubar (San Diego State), an athletic 6'10" forward who can shoot the ball very well for someone with his size. Overlooked because: He Abukar does not rebound or defend well for somebody with his natural abilities.
NBA Comparison: James Jones (not quite as good a shooter)

Darryl Watkins (Syracuse), a very intriguing, freakishly athletic big man with great size and shot-blocking ability. Overlooked because: He lacks a developed offensive game and has lapses at times on the court.
NBA Comparison: Johan Petro

Russell Carter (Notre Dame), a sharpshooter with the quintessential scorer's mentality; he demands the ball and often shoots when he gets it; great rebounder for his size due to his tenacity, athleticism, and solid build. Overlooked because: He is only 6'4" and cannot play point guard.
NBA Comparison: poor man's Michael Redd

James Hughes (Northern Illinois), another intriguing big man with great size (6'11", 220) and shot blocking ability; decent offensive skills around the hoop, though not overwhelming; relatively athletic. Overlooked because: He has had little exposure playing at an unheralded MAC school, and is still very raw.
NBA Comparison: poor man's Tyson Chandler

Ryvon Covile (Detroit), a fantastic rebounder who can bang with the best of them; can step outside a little bit and hit an 18 foot jump shot; great work ethic; decent size/athleticism. Overlooked because: He played at a small school and is a bit small for an NBA PF/C for someone who is not particularly athletic.
NBA Comparison: Danny Fortson

Rashad Jones-Jennings (Arkansas Little-Rock), the nation's leading rebounder (13.1 per game); unbelievable work ethic--never takes a play off; solid enough offensively to be an occasional threat. Overlooked because: Only 6'8" which can be limiting as a rebounder, not outstandingly athletic; played in the Sun Belt.
NBA Comparison: Reggie Evans

Jamaal Tatum (Southern Illinois), MVP of the MVC (say that 5 times fast...); a completely selfless point guard who will do anything to help his team win; tough going to the hoop where he can finish or dish; solid size for a true point guard; great defender. Overlooked because: Tatum has a very mediocre jump shot that does not extend anywhere near the NBA three point line.
NBA Comparison: Rajon Rondo

Adam Haluska (Iowa), a lights out shooter who carried his team to a solid season with very little help; a good scorer inside of the arc as well who can get to the hoop or pull up for the mid-range jumper. Overlooked because: Haluska lacks NBA athleticism and does very little other than score the basketball. (He also looks like an average men's league player who is balding and well past his prime)
NBA Comparison: Eric Piatowski

Dear...

2007-04-06T08:18:00.000-05:00

Bob Huggins, have you no soul?

After only one year at Kansas State, Bob Huggins has opted to resign and take the job at West Virginia. It makes sense; West Virginia is a more prestigious basketball school and is Huggins' alma mater. One problem: the best incoming class in the entire nation has already committed to Kansas State to play for Bob Huggins. These poor kids agreed to come to Manhattan, Kansas and wear purple uniforms for a school that lacks prestige in the basketball world, all so the could play for Bob Huggins! Now, its too late for the incoming freshman to change their mind. For example, Michael Beasley, arguably the best high school senior in the nation, would have to sit out a season to go somewhere else. By the end of the year he had sat out, Beasley could just go pro, so what's the point. To reel in the top recruits in the country with the understanding that they would be playing for you, and then bail out as soon as a "better" job becomes available, simply disgusts me. Have you know sense of responsibility Bob Huggins? You are ruining kids lives for a chance to slightly better your own situation! On top of that, the fallout for K-State could be fatal. It is possible that we will see the same kind of mass-transfer that happened at Baylor for the 2004 season after their disgusting scandal. Baylor lost stars Lawrence Roberts and John Lucas III in this exodus and the team still has not fully recovered. Kansas State had a legitimate opportunity to burst onto the basketball scene in a big way; I hope Bob Huggins selfish move doesn't close that door.

Dice-K, you make my heart sing!

Red Sox nation hasn't been this excited since the Sox won the World Series in 2004. Daisuke Matsuzaka is so good that it leaves you wondering what went wrong every time somebody manages to get a hit off him. He throws approximately seven pitches consistently, each of which is extremely effective. Yes, SEVEN. And that's not even counting the much-fabled and highly elusive "gyroball" that is said to spin in crazy ways. (I like to imagine it as a pitch from the computer game "Backyard Baseball" in which certain pitches can corkscrew or freeze in mid-air before home plate.) Matsuzaka went 7 innings in his major league debut with 10 strikeouts. hitters generally seemed confused as they swung hopelessly throughout the course of the game (though David Dejesus did seem to have his number...) After throwing 108 pitches, Dice-K hardly looked tired. I'm convinced the Sox should just pitch him every third day. Kidding aside, it seems as though Matsuzaka should notch somewhere between 18 and 22 wins, which would be a phenomenal season for anybody. Much like Lebron's rookie year, Dice-K has epic amounts of hype, millions of fans who will watch his every move, and there's a good chance he could live up to all the expectations.

Gilbert Arenas, are you clinically insane?

After an impressive regular season for the Wizards, one which Gilbert Arenas referred to as "the takeover", their hopes for success have crumbled along with the knee of Arenas and the hand of Caron Butler. Just days after Butler broke his hand on the backboard while trying to block a fast break layup from behind, Arenas went down within his first minute of the game and was later diagnosed with a torn meniscus. A lot of people seem to love or hate Gilbert Arenas--and I can't get enough of him. I immediately checked his blog after finding out about the severity of the injury, something I check consistently to put myself in a good (it's utterly hilarious), to see what Arenas's reaction would be. The title of the post was "Still Smiling" and I thought it was great that he was coping well with the situation. Then I read on. He goes on to say:
I think the worst part about it was that my Internet connection wasn’t acting right last night so my video game session wasn’t working. It kept kicking me offline so I didn’t actually get to fully play.
So, when you’re injured and video games is your life and you can’t play it, it just makes the injury that much worse.
...
I told them to cut the leg off a couple times. You know, cut it off and then bring it back to me when it was all healed. Because, you know, Heather Mills on Dancing with the Stars, she had that leg. I was saying I could borrow one of those and finish out the season. But they wasn’t going for that.

Arenas is a first-class whacko, but you know what, its nice to see a professional athlete with a sense of humor. Arenas loves the game, and as he has said himself, he behaves not only as a top-notch player, but as a fan as well. (Hence jumping off the trampoline at the All-Star Game.) Keep being yourself Gilbert, even if you are a little bit crazy.

Joe Nathan, get a hold of your life!

A story emerged recently that Joe Nathan's wife was having a baby on the night of a Twins game. Nathan, who had already saved the first two games of the season, said he would be at the hospital with his wife, but would be on call in case the Twins needed him. The man was genuinely planning to leave the hospital and go to the Metrodome in a save situation. Luckily for the future of Joe Nathan's marriage, the Twins won 7-2 and did not need Nathan's services. Can you imagine a better eternal comeback than "How about the time you left me while I was having a baby to go to the Twins game!?" I'm all for athletes who care about their team above almost all else, but come on, some things are more important. Nathan will probably pitch in upwards of 500 more games in his career. You just don't leave your wife when she's having a baby to play baseball. If it was the World Series, I could at least understand the decision. But it's the first week of April!

Billy Packer, how much can you get away with before they finally fire you?

Billy Packer got himself in trouble once again for using the term "fag out" on the Charlie Rose show this week. While it's true that the term is an old-fashioned way of calling somebody lazy, in the age of political correctness, it was a poor choice of words. Of course Packer refused to budge on the issue, defending his comment whole-heartedly, despite the perfect opportunity to apologize. The comment would be easier to overlook had he not made multiple controversial comments in the past. He has made sexist comments, rudely disregarded mid-majors as worthy basketball teams, and even referred to Allen Iverson as a "tough monkey". While I don't think Packer is necessarily racist, sexist, or homophobic, he is also a terrible announcer. Him and Jim Nantz make the least interesting team possible, and Packer continues to steal the spotlight, especially around tournament time, for controversial comments. I just don't understand how the benefits of having a mediocre analyst who is constantly angering people with his loose tongue. Time to say bye bye to Billy.

MLB owners, say yes to Mark Cuban!

Much like the aforementioned Gilbert Arenas, Mark Cuban is a refreshing personality to have in the basketball world. Also, he seems to be slightly more sane than Arenas, but it's a close call. Regardless, Cuban has done tremendous things for the NBA. Occasionally Cuban oversteps the line, but he respects this, pays his fines, and moves on. People love Mark Cuban; he's truly hilarious and everyone can relate to him. Cuban is the classic basketball fan, only he owns the Dallas Mavericks. As an owner, Cuban will do whatever it takes to win. He has built the Mavericks up from the laughingstock of the league, to a historically phenomenal team. If Cuban was to take over the Chicago Cubs, as the rumors have suggested as a real possibility, you can almost guarantee that the Cubs would quickly make the acquisitions they need to strengthen their chances at breaking that long-standing curse. Furthermore, the only easily recognized owner that comes to mind in the league is the evil George Steinbrenner. The MLB could use a friendly face at the top.

Final Four Review

2007-04-01T10:53:00.000-05:00

I suppose I have to give credit where credit is due. After tearing Thad Matta apart in my final four preview, he coached a fantastic game against a tremendous Georgetown team. Matta stayed away from that weak 2-2-1 zone press, but still successfully utilized multiple defenses. The 2-3 zone, which they have seldom played throughout the year, was extremely effective, particularly against Jeff Green. After looking like the Big East Player of the Year and a top-10 draft pick against UNC, Green pulled off a disappearing act reminiscent of Tyler Hansbrough vs. USC. Green actually did not play a bad game, reeling in 12 rebounds, but rather he just was not the presence he needed to be. When you are the best all-around player on your team, you cannot be content with catching the ball and simply reversing it back around the perimeter every single time.

Oden and Hibbert both experienced the foul trouble that we all expected, playing only 44 minutes combined. It was actually quite disappointing considering the potential of this matchup which was being hyped as the greatest battle of bigs in the last 20 years. Hibbert impressed me despite his brief stint. In just 24 minutes, Hibbert managed to score 19 points and looked unstoppable in the post. Even when Oden, who is highly regarded as a terrific defender, had little success against Hibbert. Granted, Oden was playing tentatively at times to avoid fouls, but Hibbert's repertoire of post moves, including spins in both directions and hooks with both hand, was very impressive.

As for Oden, I am apparently the only person in the world who is skeptical about him. Keep in mind that being skeptical about Oden means I worry that he will only be an All-Star and not a Hall-of-Famer. Regardless, several things bother me about Oden. First of all, I haven't watched him stay out of foul trouble once all season. Despite Dick Vitale's cries that he is being reffed unfairly, I maintain that both Oden and Durant often get the benefit of the doubt. I swear, at least 30% of Oden's blocks are goaltending! Point is, Oden has been unable to adapt his game to avoid fouls, and I don't see it as a problem that is simply going to disappear at the next level. In addition, he still seems to lack the feel for the game offensively that a guy like Hibbert displays. Other than powerful two-handed dunks, his arsenal includes awkward moves and an ugly hook shot that he actually throws downwards at the hoop because of his length and jumping ability. The biggest shot he hit against Georgetown was a ten-foot-jumper with little arc that clanked of the back of the rim and happened to bounce up and in. Finally, and Oden said this himself, Hibbert was the first person he's ever played against that was taller than him! If I recall correctly, the NBA has a few other 7-footers. The following players' games don't compare to Oden's of course, but for the sake of argument, guys like Eric Montross and Dwayne Schinitzius looked great in college too. Oden is definitely not going to be a stiff in the NBA, I'm just not convinced that he's going to be Bill Russell either.

The Florida-UCLA game went much as expected, with Florida's depth being far too much for UCLA to handle. Then again, it was also an extremely odd game in that UCLA had only three turnovers the whole game. This would theoretically lead to a victory, but unfortunately, neither Collison nor Afflalo made a field goal in the first three quarters of the game, and three of their starters (Afflalo, Mata, and Mbah A Moute) fouled out and played less than 25 minutes. I was especially disappointed by Afflalo's performance. After picking up a foul in the first minute of the game, as an experienced player, Afflalo should have been at least a little but careful. Instead, he picked up his second foul with 18 minutes left in the first half. Honestly, the game was pretty much over then and there. He scored 17 points in the second half to save his box score, but anyone who saw the game knows that those points were utterly meaningless.

As for Florida, they continue to play great basketball and display their versatility. This game was Corey Brewer's turn to have the spotlight. Noah and Horford combined for an amazing 28 rebounds, but only 17 points. Brewer picked up that slack quite nicely, scoring a super-efficient 19 points on only 7 field goal attempts. He was 4-5 from the arc and his fantastic defense was also on display. Sometimes I forget that this kid is 6'9"--he's a classic matchup disaster. As an NBA player, I think Corey Brewer will be a similar player to Rashard Lewis, both in game-type and production.

With Humphrey continuing to knock down his shots, and Chris Richard playing beautifully off the bench (he now has 46 points for the tournament and has missed only 2 shots from the field), Florida is one of the best college teams in history. The championship game will not be a blowout like the team's first two meetings in Gainesville, I expect the result to be the same. Oden will struggle against the Florida trio of enforcers, and Conley can only carry them so far. At every position where the Buckeyes are strong, the Gators can either match them, or are stronger: Oden vs. Horford and Noah, Conley vs. Taurean Green (Conley may have a slight advantage here, but Green is much more experienced and also very talented), Ron Lewis/Daequan Cook vs. Corey Brewer, Jamar Butler vs Lee Humphrey, Othello Butler vs. Chris Richard.

Final Predictions:
Score: Florida 76, Ohio State 64
MVP: Al Horford
Other: Oden held to 12 points, Conley is bright spot for OSU, Horford and Noah combine for 30 and 20, Humphrey hits 4+ threes.

Final Four Preview

2007-03-31T11:12:00.000-05:00

Georgetown-Ohio State

A classic battle of throwback bigs, Roy Hibbert and Greg Oden square off in the early game tonight. But the battle won't be won or lost by a divergence of talent between these two future-NBA centers. It will more likely be governed by the whistle. If either Oden or Hibbert pick up early fouls and are forced to play less than 25 or 30 minutes, the opposing team will win the game. Both Hibbert and Oden are such game-changers simply by being on the floor; each team will desperately need to keep them out of foul trouble. Assuming the pair of giants each stay on the court, the game will come down to their talented teammates.

Mike Conley Jr. has been phenomenal at the point in each game of this tournament, boosting his stock with every performance. He is lightning quick, a fantastic decision maker, and always forces action with his ability to penetrate and either dish or finish. Most importantly, Conley seems not to know he is a Freshman. When the games are on the line, Conley maintains his cool like a seasoned veteran.

Speaking of seasoned veterans, Ron Lewis has taken his game to an entirely new level; one that nobody even knew existed. If Ohio State could somehow go all the way, Lewis is likely the tournament MVP. Hitting big shot after big shot (maybe he stole Acie Law's talent in a Space Jam scam), Lewis is putting up 22 ppg in the tournament, and that's including a 13 point performance in the first round blowout of Central Connecticut State. Lewis will need to be a leader for this freshman-heavy squad in order to beat Georgetown.
Ohio State is solid across the board with the nation's best sixth man, Daequan Cook, coming off the bench, and serviceable players like Jamar Butler, Ivan Harris, and Othello Hunter. Hunter may play a big role in this game since Georgetown can go big with Green and Ewing or Summers at the forwards (about 6'8"-6'9" apiece) and Hibbert in the middle. I also believe that Hunter should get more attention on the offensive end; he's an underrated post player who doesn't get the ball enough. Ohio State needs to cut down on the threes and start feeding the post.

Thad Matta did an unbelievable recruiting job this year, but I'm not sold on some of his coaching decisions; allowing his team to fire long-range jumpers instead of looking for Oden and Butler is one of them. The other area where I disagree with Mata is on the defensive end. The Buckeyes often show a 2-2-1 full court press which is easily broken by getting the ball into the middle and then throwing diagonal passes up the court. This leaves Oden alone, floating around trying to block shots, but often picking up key fouls. OSU is athletic enough to play a very tough man-to-man defense, and against a Georgetown team with good passing big men to play the middle against that 2-2-1 press in Hibbert and Green, using the zone press could prove to be a fatal mistake for Thad Matta and his squad.

Georgetown's guards, Jonathan Wallace, Jesse Sapp, and mini-Doc Rivers (Jeremiah) off the bench, are quite solid. They don't do anything spectacular, but they don't make many mistakes either. Ohio State's backcourt is more dynamic, but not necessarily more likely to breed success, which is problematic for them because Georgetown's frontcourt is one of the best in the nation. Already having proven their abilities by taking down one of the nation's two other best frontcourts in North Carolina (Florida is the other), the foursome of Roy Hibbert, Jeff Green, Dajuan Summers, and Patrick Ewing Jr. might be too much for the Buckeyes to handle. Jeff Green finally stepped it up last round, with 22 points, 9 rebounds, and 3 assists. He is an incredibly versatile player that fits into any situation. On top of that, Georgetown is a system team, and a disciplined one at that. John Thompson III (how many famous sons can one team have?) has done a fantastic job this year, and should guide them one round further to the coveted championship game.

Prediction: Georgetown 79, Ohio State 71.

Florida-UCLA

I was hoping last year's championship game would be the last time I ever had to look at Joakim Noah and Lorenzo Mata at the same time. No dice.

Much like Georgetown-Ohio State, this game could come down to the frontcourt. If UCLA can somehow neutralize the attack of Noah and Al Horford, they have a good shot at winning the game. Problem is, UCLA's best true big man, Lorenzo Mata, is no better than Florida's number three, so to speak, Chris Richard. Luc Richard Mbah A Moute macthes up better with Corey Brewer than Noah or Horford. Once he gets stuck on Horford, the result is Josh Shipp or Arron Afflalo giving up 4 inches in Brewer. Then they still have Taurean Green running the point and stroking threes along with Lights Out Lee Humphrey, who has been on fire of late. As I've said time after time, Florida just has too many great options for anyone to stop them.

That being said, don't count UCLA out just yet. It's hard to imagine that a team that started the season in the top 5, and spent the duration of the year there, could be underrated--but they have been of late. After a couple of late-season losses, everyone seemed to forget about UCLA, counting them out as a major contender. Remember, UCLA made the championship last year, and all they lost was Jordan Farmar. Yes, he was the leader of that team...but Darren Collison is better! Collison is the consummate point guard, looking to pass first and shoot second, yet willing to take the big shot and put his team on his shoulders when they need him to. Furthermore, Collison and Afflalo are both amazing defenders--in fact the whole UCLA team is fantastic defensively. If you stop the other team from scoring, that would seem to put you in a very positive situation.

So what must happen for UCLA to win? Well, an array of things.
One: Arron Afflalo must continue to play the way he has been playing thus far in the tournament. Points are sometimes few and far between for this team, and Afflalo needs to be their savior--their only source of consistent offense.
Two: Lorenzo Mata must own the boards and shut down Joakim Noah. If you can neutralize at least one of the two lottery-pick bigs for Florida, you give yourself a chance to win.
Three: Alfred Aboya needs to step his game up. Mbah A Moute's fellow Cameroonian, the sophomore only plays about 17 minutes per game off the bench, but he is 6'8 235 pounds, and will need to give them good minutes pounding against Horford underneath. He is one of there only big bodies underneath, so it is crucial for him to contribute.
Four: Collison and Mbah A Moute have been consistent all year, and that must continue tonight. They don't need to do anything spectacular, but merely play within themselves and make their normal contributions. Collison needs to control the game completely in order to put his team in position to win.
Five: Michael Roll needs to knock down a couple of three-pointers off the bench. Roll is a great shooter who has improved and looked more comfortable as the season has gone on. I still think there should be an 'E' on the end of his last name, but that's neither here nor there. If he could be even a poor man's version to UCLA of what Humphrey is to Florida, it would give them a huge boost.

If those five things all fall into place for UCLA, or at least four of them, they might just snag tonight's game out of the grasp of the Goliath that is Florida. It's certainly possible, but don't hold your breath.

Prediction: Florida 75, UCLA 68

Weekly Thoughts

2007-03-26T20:38:00.000-05:00

Here are some assorted thoughts on last week's tournament action (and a few other things):

-Who had the worst week ever? Joey Dorsey. Apparently his pathetic performance in Memphis's win over Texas A&M was not even remotely humbling for Dorsey. Instead, the inconsistent big man felt it necessary to tell the world that he was at least as good as the much heralded and "overrated" (if you ask Dorsey) Greg Oden. Dorsey promptly followed his horrible performance in Thursday's victory with, shockingly, an even worse one in the loss to Ohio State. Oden put up 17 points and 9 rebounds despite foul trouble once again limiting his minutes; Dorsey managed to not score a single point in the entire game. Dorsey could not have dropped his stock more even if he tried to in this tournament. Between his big mouth and not-so-big production, NBA GM's across the country are thinking "maybe we should stay away from this guy..." Hopefully for Dorsey, Isaiah Thomas will draft him with the Knicks first round pick and start him over David Lee--the best rebounder in the league.

-No matter what happens next week, this tournament has to go down as one of the most boring ones over the last 10 years. I love March Madness more than anyone, but it's hard to deny that this year left us yearning for a couple more shocking first-round upsets, a few double-digit seeds making the Sweet Sixteen, someone other than 7 of the top 8 seeded teams making the elite eight...well, you get the picture. It was almost inevitable that after a whole year of wondering "who will be this year's George Mason!?", a run that will likely not be replicated for decades, we would end up disappointed.

-I mentioned in the last stock watch that Tajuan Porter is a "burning or freezing" kind of player. Well he showed us both--after his lights out performance in the UNLV victory, he was ice cold against Florida, going 0-9 from the three point line until the last couple minutes. He's easy to love when he's on fire, and, well, still pretty easy to love when he plays poorly. Come on, who doesn't root for (as Raftery would say) THE LITTLE GUY!?

-Was anyone even remotely surprised upon hearing Ron Artest was talking about retiring? Normally, when one of the better players in any league discusses retirement in their mid-20's, everybody is completely and totally shocked. But we've become so numb to the Artest antics that nobody even flinched when they heard about his domestic violence charges that landed him a restraining order against a family. One can't help but laugh at the fact that this is the same family who he wants to retire to spend more time with. Maybe basketball is getting in the way of writing them e-mails.

-Kobe Bryant is without question the most talented player in the NBA. His 4 game streak of 50-point performances is one of the most impressive individual performances in modern sports. And what's more, the Lakers actually won all four games by a few points each, Kobe shot well above 50% from the field, and everybody knew he was shooting any time he had the chance. Essentially, Phil Jackson said "score more points" and Kobe abided. He truly is unstoppable.

-Greg Oden should not have made the AP All-America 1st team. This isn't a "who's gonna be the best pro" team, it's who performed best. Why is Oden, who missed the first seven games of the season and then averaged 15 ppg on the team over a guy like Jared Dudley, who led the ACC in both scoring and rebounding and carried an extremely mediocre team to a respectable season. Oden had a good freshman season, but it was not worthy of being named one of the five best players in the nation.

-Florida demonstrated their versatility once again. If Humphrey continues to shoot that well from the arc, the Gators will repeat without too much trouble (as I've believed the would all season...please let me be right about something!). Which brings me to another interesting point; there is a very real possibility that Florida and Ohio State could meet in the National Championships of both college football and basketball in the same calendar year. After getting thrashed by the underdog Gators in the BCS championship, and then again during this basketball season, could anything be more of a kick in the balls than losing the basketball championship to them too? Furthermore, if Florida wins it all, they will have won the last three championships in the two major college sports, an unbelievable feat. Throw in the story of the four junior roommates staying in college to win another championship together, the potential subplots could ruin our lives for the time leading up to the big game.

Friday Stock Watch (Stars and Stiffs)

2007-03-24T12:01:00.000-05:00

STOCK UP (STARS)

Taj Gibson - USC's only formidable big man, the freshman standout certainly pulled his weight in the Trojans valiant effort against an over-talented North Carolina squad. Gibson had 16 points and 12 rebounds, and that hardly tells the story. USC dominated their fellow acronymic opponent in the first half in which Gibson had already notched a double-double (12 and 10). He was single-handedly destroying the deep Carolina front court, especially Hansbrough. In the second half, he picked up three very quick fouls (giving him four total) and had to be taken out of the game, at which point UNC immediately took over. Had Gibson stayed out of foul trouble, the Trojans could be playing Sunday for a spot in the Final Four.

Tajuan Porter - My favorite player left in the tournament, the diminuitive Oregon guard has been a hot or cold player all season long. Actually, he's been more of a burning or freezing player. Friday, he was on fire. Standing at only 5'6", Porter is often overlooked by his opponents (no pun intended). In the Sweet Sixteen matchup with UNLV he managed to torch the Runnin' Rebels with 33 points on only 17 field goal attempts. The freshman Porter was 8-12 from the three-point-line, and simply took over the game. He continues to make a convincing argument that despite his tiny stature, he could be perhaps a better shooting version of an Earl Boykins-type player at the next level; he has that same lightning quickness.

Branden Wright - Friday was a good night for freshmen. Branden Wright, the likely number 3 overall draft pick after Oden and Durant, carried a desperate UNC team to the Elite Eight. With Tyler Hansbrough pulling a disappearing act that Harry Houdini would proud of, Wright came to the rescue. Wright is almost disturbingly long and athletic, but he's more than just another player with "tremendous upside"; he's been playing phenomenal basketball and is incredibly polished for a 19-year-old. Against USC, Wright put up 21 and 9, and also proved to be the most mature player on the team, not taking an uncontested dunk with 25 seconds left, an opportunity that Reyshawn Terry would be salivating over. His maturity was more broad than that though; Wright maintained composure even when his team was trailing by 16 points, and was without question the best player on the floor in the second half of that game.

Gabe Pruitt - USC has been missing two things all season long: frontcourt depth, and true point guard. They couldn't magically manufacture another big man to solve the former, which proved to be a fatal flaw, but Pruitt did a fantastic job of satisfying the latter. The natural shooting guard successfully turned himself into a point guard, which, in addition to solidifying USC as a great team, should help Pruitt as a professional prospect. Somehow, there is more appeal to an oversized sharp-shooting point guard than an undersized shooting guard. Pruitt was able to relieve the pressure on freshman Daniel Hackett, another natural 2 who had been trying to play the point. He finished the UNC game with 13 points, 7 assists, and only 2 turnovers.

Malik Hairston - Originally the most highly touted of Oregon's potent foursome of Hairston, Taylor, Brooks, and Porter, Malik stepped it up in their victory over UNLV. At only 6'6", the shooting guard pulled down 11 boards to go along with his 14 points on only 8 shots. Hairston is a very solid shooter, a great athlete, a fantastic defender, and rock solid at 200 pounds of all muscle. The junior is relatively young for his grade--he just turned 20--and if he continues to play like this for the remainder of the tournament and into next year, he should get the NBA looks that seemed imminent when he first came to Oregon.

Al Horford - Al Horford is better than Joakim Noah. Granted, both players will be good NBA players and top-7 draft picks. Granted, Joakim Noah is more unique and interesting due to his hair, his father, and his skill set. Granted, Noah was the focal point of their championship run last year. But Al Horford has been more consistent all season. His performance on Friday was not jaw-dropping, but with 16 points and 7 rebounds, and 4 blocks, Horford continued to be extremely solid for a Gator team that is positioned for a repeat. He's a much better athlete than Noah, and handles the ball and sees the floor extremely well for a 6'10"-240 pound-power forward. He has an invaluable mid-range jump shot in his repertoire, is a great shot-blocker. Horford has put up more points, rebounds, and blocks than Noah throughout the season, and I expect him to be an All-Star at some point in his NBA career.

USC - Don't let one second half collapse fool you: this is a great basketball team. Losing only Lodrick Stewart, and retaining Gibson, Young, Pruitt and Hackett, the Trojans would be a contender next year even if they didn't bring in a single freshman. But oh yeah, didn't they get that Mayo guy? Mayo and Pruitt, with his newfound point guard skills, will be an incredible back court tandem next year. Both about 6'5" and prolific scorers, they will essential have two point guards and two shooting guards at the same time. Young is one of the best scorers in the nation, and Gibson is becoming one of the best big men. Furthermore, Mayo apparently helped Tim Floyd recruit before even getting to USC, and he's bringing his posse. The Trojans should be scary-good next year, and a championship appearance is not out of the question.

STOCK DOWN (STIFFS)

Tyler Hansbrough - It will be interesting to see whether Hansbrough will ever have a place in the NBA. Even when he plays well, it looks like he's an eight grader who has already had his growth spurt and is just stronger than his opponents but still fast. He can hit the little fade-away jumper, and he pivots and upfakes well, but he doesn't really play with his back to the basket. And he sure as hell can't play on the wing. So where does that allow him to play at the next level when opponents are bigger and stronger? I don't know. He was absolutely pathetic on Friday; it was amazing that UNC won despite his performance. Hansbrough had 5 points and 4 rebounds...maybe it wasn't just the mask that was "causing him" to play poorly. I'm glad this happened because I was sick of people talking about him disposing of the mask against MSU like it was Willis Reed running into Madison Square Garden. I think the longer Hansbrough stays in college, and the more we see that he has already reached his pinnacle, the less interest NBA teams will have in him. He better not play another game like this vs. Georgetown; Roy Hibbert might literally eat him. Either way, this over-achiever should enter the draft as soon as possible.

Ty Lawson - A bird, a plane, superman? No, that was just Ty Lawson pushing the ball up the court. He's the fastest player I've ever seen with the basketball. However, Lawson was 2-10 from the field against USC and finished with just 4 points and 4 assists despite playing 32 minutes. It's a real testament to how deep this team is that with Lawson and Hansbrough playing the games they did, UNC was still able to come away with a win. Lawson has a mountain of potential, but he needs to work on both his shot, and his shot selection--a bad combination. One possession sticks out in my mind in which Lawson stood around doing nothing before launching a deep three that smacked off the backboard. This game exposed both his strengths and weaknesses, but the latter prevailed in this one. That being said, I wouldn't be surprised if he steps it up next round.

Kevin Kruger - I hate Kevin Kruger. And it's no fault of his own. Maybe I've just played on one too many AAU teams where one of the player's self-serving father is the coach. Kevin Kruger is by no means a terrible basketball player, and he belongs on the UNLV team. I'm just not convinced that he should be playing 30+ minutes every single game. But that's exactly how much his daddy... coach rather, played him in all of the tournament games. Over the three games, Kruger was 6-28 from the three point line. Over the course of the entire season, he shot under 40% from the floor and under 35% from the three-point-line. I must admit, my perspective is biased, but those stats don't lie.

Referees - I feel that two of the four games played on Friday were significantly impacted by poor officiating. The first and more obvious game was Georgetown vs. Vanderbilt. I'm all for the belief that in the end of games, refs should let the players decide the outcome; but they shouldn't swallow their whistles. On Jeff Green's game winning shot, there is absolutely no question that he traveled. He blatantly switched pivot feet. Poor Vanderbilt played their hearts out only to lose on a shot that never should have counted. The second game that I thought was very poorly officiated, especially in the closing minutes, was USC-UNC. With about 1:40 left, Hansbrough clearly went over the back on an offensive rebound. The next trip down the floor for USC, trailing only by 6, Nick Young missed a three-pointer and ended up on the ground because he was tackled after the ball left his hand; again, no call. Still only down 6, but with only 50 seconds left, Taj Gibson fouled out of the game on a ticky-tac "moving screen" in which he barely made contact with the flopping UNC player. Tim Floyd understandably protested, immediately getting a technical, and the game was over. Butler also got a few tough calls near the end of their bout with Florida. All in all, the referees made things hard for the little guys.

AJ Graves -The only real mid-major remaining fell and ugly, beloved point guard AJ Graves had a sub-par performance. Graves went 4-13 from the field and 1-6 from behind the arc, as Butler came close to Florida, but couldn't hold on. Graves has often been compared to Steve Nash, but considering how much better Nash is as a passer, I don't think Graves will be able to make it. He's a great shooter and has led Butler all season long, but he's too small and unathletic to play in the NBA unless he develops much better point guard skills. He picked a bad time to have an off-game, but he's only a junior, and Butler could have another good season next year.

Corey Brewer - Brewer was only 3-10 from the field in Florida's win over Butler, and played one of his worst overall games this season. However, it hardly slowed Florida due to strong play from both Horford and Noah. Brewer is usually a great shooter, and he's very athletic. Though his poor performance in this round of play lands him in my "stock down" category, the game won't really have much negative effect on his value. Brewer could be a late lottery pick and at worst is a mid-low first round draft choice even if he doesn't have the best tournament. We've seen enough of Brewer and this whole Florida squad over the last two years that one bad game isn't going to hurt them the way it might hurt someone like Graves who gets far fewer chances to impress over the course of their career.

Thursday Stock Watch (Stars and Stiffs)

2007-03-22T21:59:00.000-05:00

STOCK UP (STARS)

Brandon Rush - Rush only had 12 points, but it was on 6-6 shooting. Furthermore, the bright-futured sophomore showed his versatility as a player, contributing with 5 assists and 5 rebounds. He seems to come up with big plays right when Kansas needs them; the momentum shifted when Rush threw a beautiful alley-oop pass to Darrell Arthur, and Kansas never looked back.

Missouri Valley Conference - Southern Illinois couldn't come a way with a W, but their defensive prowess hindered the national powerhouse Jayhawks enough to make them look like a sixth grade travel team. Well, not quite, but they certainly made things interesting in a game that many people (myself included) thought would be a blowout. The Salukis' performance reinforced that last year's MVC success in the tournament (Bradley, Wichita State) was not a fluke. It's an incredibly tough league in which the defense is the best in the nation. Don't expect this favorite mid-major conference to fade over the upcoming years.

Bruce Pearl - When I saw Bruce Pearl say on Pardon the Interruption that he didn't think his team had any chance of winning it all because of their size, I took it to heart. He was almost pleasantly surprised. Perhaps the comment was a tactical move because he wanted his team to fly under the radar, but if you know much about Bruce Pearl, he was probably just being honest. The Tennessee coach is a breath of fresh air; he's whacky, earnest, and hilarious. And oh yeah, he's also a brilliant coach. I remember watching him tear apart my 4 seed Boston College Eagles as a 12 seed in the second round while coaching UW-Milwaukee. Yes, Tennessee lost to Ohio State, but Pearl took Oden out of the game with foul trouble by having his players go right at him, and in turn, they were in position to win the game. Bruce Pearl has done an unbelievable job at Tennessee in the two years he's been there.

Jeremy Hunt - In a game devoid of offense, the Memphis sharpshooter came off the bench and provided a much-needed spark for the Tigers, pouring in 19 points on 6-12 shooting (3-7 three-point fgs). When Hunt is hot, he can score with the best of them--he scored 25 in the first half at UAB earlier this season. The senior most likely will not get drafted this year, but he could find his way to the NBA eventually with a great career overseas.

Ron Lewis - Much like Hunt, an NBA career is not imminent for Ron Lewis. He may as well make the most of his college career. And that's exactly what he's been doing. After the cold-blooded three he sunk to send the Xavier game into overtime, you had to wonder whether the rest of the tournament would just be a letdown for him. Well, wonder no more. Lewis put his team on his shoulders, dropping 25 points in OSU's tremendous comeback win over the most stubborn Volunteers in the world.

Chris Lofton - In a previous entry, I said that Lofton would put forth another 25 point performance. Well, that's what he needed, but he only got 24 as Ohio State lost by a single point. Lofton was heroic in the defeat however, hitting 6 three-pointers, including a huge one near the end. He carried Tennessee throughout the tournament, and it's a shame he couldn't take them one more round.

Bill Raftery - I don't have to say much about Raftery if anyone has watched a game with him announcing. He is simply the most entertaining announcer not named Dick Vitale that exists on the face of the Earth. With his inexplicable outbursts, screaming terms that don't make sense to the average viewer, like "THERE'S A LITTLE LINGERIE ON THE DECK!", who wouldn't rather listen to him and anyone else than Jim Nantz and Billy Packer?

STOCK DOWN (STIFFS)

Acie Law IV - Not only did the Naismith finalist go 6-17 from the floor, but that 17th attempt was a missed layup that would have put the Aggies up 3 with 45 seconds left to go. For someone who has been repeatedly praised for his late-game heroics and touted as some sort of Robert Horry disciple, this was quite the mistake. Law will probably still be a mid-first round draft pick, but this game certainly didn't help his standing.

Joey Dorsey - The man that most of us only know as "that guy who is always dunking on SportsCenter highlights where Memphis is thrashing pathetic conference opponents by upwards of 25 points" fouled out of the Texas A&M game with just 8 points and 4 rebounds. For someone with his athletic abilities to be that unproductive is really almost impressive. As Ron Burgundy would say, "Actually, I'm not even mad. That's amazing!"

Aaron Gray - 10 points, 6 rebounds, 4 fouls. Honestly, he's just too slow to play at this level, let alone the NBA. He's a projected first round draft pick, but more importantly, he's a lock to be the next Eric Montross. Unless Six Minute Abs really works as well as it does on the commercials, Gray better take his first round draft pick guaranteed contract and start saving the money before anyone realizes just how immobile this guy actually is.

Sherrod Collins - The Kansas point guard who has been "the diference-maker" in the Jayhawks' success toward the end of the season finished the SIU game with 2 points and 1 assist. The underwhelming performance should raise some red flags for Kansas as they go on to face teams like UCLA and Florida. If he continues to play like that, they don't stand a chance of achieving their goal of winning the National Championship.

Greg Oden - Give me Kevin Durant! Oden could easily be the number one pick of the draft, but I wouldn't say he's earned it so much as he's just a freak-of-nature-athlete. Oden almost cost his team the game by being unable to stay out of foul trouble once again. People will likely remember image of him blocking that final shot, (which was after the buzzer and would not have counted anyways by the way,) but he finished with just 9 points and 3 rebounds. With Durant consistently putting up 30 point games on a team that is nothing without him, Oden has been little more than an intimidation factor under the hoop at times for the Buckeyes. There is no doubt he will be a great professional player, but I could never pass on Durant for him.

The Best Worst Call in Tournament History

2007-03-22T21:06:00.000-05:00

As time ticked down on Texas A&M's wonderful season, the Aggie faithful were likely yelling expletives at the refs through their TV screen. I was, and I didn't even care about the game. With 3.1 seconds left and the Aggies down 1, they inbounded the ball (carelessly) from under their own hoop. Luckily for them, a Memphis player tipped the errant pass right before it went out of bounds, giving A&M the ball back on the sideline. While the officials checked in at the replay booth, a place where they often spend minutes to debate fractions of seconds, the announcers agreed that at most, two tenths should be taken off the clock. There was a moment of shock, followed quickly by outrage when the refs decided to take 1.1 seconds off, leaving the Aggies with only 2.0 seconds. In situations like these, one second is enough time to make the difference between a great look at the hoop and a hopeless heave. The Aggies, of course, got the latter.

Before I joined the large group of people that will be sending these refs hate-mail, I decided to watch the play closely one last time. Imagine my surprise when I realized that the ball bounced in-bounds by a few inches before bouncing up towards the stands. The ball was never dead until a man behind the table grabbed the ball when it hit him in the chest. The refs got it right.
But remember the infamous Tom Brady tuck rule play that won the Patriots their first Super Bowl? The refs got that one right too. I felt unsatisfied. Had the man reached over and stopped the ball as soon as he could have, or there was a broadcasting TV in front of him, there would have been another half-second on the clock. It just doesn't seem right that a season of work should come down to a random reaction of an audience member, or the placement of sideline televisions. Nonetheless, as unfair as it may seem, there is no better solution. I suppose the best solution is simply to not put yourselves in that position. If Acie Law IV, the "Mr. Clutch", never-misses-an-important-shot, most-valuable-player-to-his-team's-success Naismith nominee hadn't missed a layup with 45 seconds left, they probably would have won.

But that's just the way the ball bounces.

10 (Kind of) Bold Predictions for the Rest of the Tournament

2007-03-18T23:42:00.000-05:00

10. Florida and Oregon will both win their Sweet Sixteen games by double digits. Talent-wise, Florida is exponentially better than Butler, who is athetically challenged and small enough that I could potentially play Center for them. Oregon just has too many scoring options; if Brooks or Porter aren't on, Hairston or Taylor probably is. They are playing great basketball of late, disregarding the scary first round game vs. Miami (OH) which they probably took for granted.

9. Texas A&M will make the Final Four. Having already knocked off the second best team in the region in Louisville, look for the Aggies to roll over Memphis and find a way to neutralize Oden as they continue to play their refreshing fundamentally sound style of basketball. I'm already dreading hearing every sports anchor on the planet joking, "Memphis fought the Law, and the Law won!"

8. UNC will not make the Final Four. Despite having more talent than any college basketball team in the history of planet Earth, UNC has an average basketball IQ that rivals that of Jamal Crawford. Reyshawn Terry, a very talented and athletic senior, consistently shoots with 30 seconds left on the shot clock in situations when they need to control the ball. They play at only one speed: really really fast. It's only a matter of time before they meet a formidable opponent, and these kinds of things come back to haunt them. I don't see them getting through both USC and Georgetown. Speaking of which...

7. USC will give the Tar Heels a run for their money. USC was the most underrated team coming into the tournament, as most "experts" wrote them off in either a first round upset to Arkansas or a second round thrashing courtesy of the Texas Kevin Durants. However, USC is one of only 5 teams to have won both games so far by double digits. They have four NBA-level players in Gibson, Pruitt, Young, and Stewart. Size should be the only problem against UNC's dominant frontcourt, but USC's defensive tenacity and sharpshooting should be enough to make the game very interesting. I have this game on upset watch.

6. Jeff Green will turn things around and lead Georgetown to the Final Four. As one of the top pro prospects still playing in the NCAA tournament, Green has disappointed in the first two rounds. Don't expect this to continue, Green had been playing phenomenal basketball towards the end of the year, proving that he was more than a tremendous athlete with great potential. Once he reverts back to that Big East Player Of the Year form, Georgetown should be nearly unstoppable.

5. Derrick Byars will put forth a valiant effort in a tough loss to Georgetown. The 34 year-old senior (Okay, he's only 23. But 15 is the new 23) is the best player still playing in the tournament that you've never heard. Hell, he might be the best player in the tournament, period. Byars combines incredible athleticism with a beautiful, rangeless jumpshot that seems to scrape the bottom of the net at all the right times. He carries his over-achieving team on his shoulders and almost single-handedly defeated a tough defensive-minded Washington St. team to reach the Sweet 16. I expect to see Byars put up 20+ points and 7+ rebounds.

4. UCLA-Pitt will be the least exciting Sweet Sixteen game to watch. Expect UCLA to beat Pitt by about 8 points in a game that was never really close enough to make you care and a total of approximately 23 points scored between the teams. But seriously, I would be surprised if the teams combined for more points than Tennessee scored alone in the first round, 121. Prediction: UCLA 63, Pitt 55. And Aaron Gray puts forth another stock-dropping performance...he's in worse shape than Al Gore.

3. Chris Lofton will light up Ohio State. Will it be enough to overcome Tennessee's size disadvantage? Maybe not. But nonetheless, Lofton has been incredible thus far, and should continue to impress with another 25 point performance. Like every other good player in the entire nation who doesn't go to a perennial powerhouse school, Lofton is "truly a great story" as he was evem overlooked by his hometown school, Kentucky. He really "plays with a chip on his shoulder."

2. The nation's two best teams will not meet in the National Championship. Kansas and Florida are the two strongest teams in the tournament, and they will unfortunately meet in the Semi-Finals, barring any upsets. That game is must-watch TV for any college basketball fan. Or pro basketball fan for that matter...the game should have at least 8 players who will get drafted to the NBA at some point. Joakim Noah, Al Horford, Julian Wright, and Darrell Arthur are four of the most talented, athletic, and versatile big-men in the country. The foursome are all likely lottery picks when ever they choose to make that jump. I expect this game to be an instant classic, so I will likely be disappointed no matter what.

1. Florida will repeat as the National Champions. It's extremely rare for any team to win back-to-back titles, but when a championship team loses nobody from the previous year, all of those players improve, they grow to play better as a team, and they are playing their best basketball of the season, how could anyone pick against them? They have the two best bigs in the nation in Horford and Noah, an above-average shooting, great decision-making point guard in Taurean Green, a probable top 15 NBA pick multi-talented wingman in Corey Brewer, and a lights out shooting guard in Lee Humphrey. They play as hard on defense as they do on offense, which is hard to find in teams that can actually score a basketball. Chris Richard is as good off the bench for Noah and Horford as most teams number one post player. Billy Donovan always gets the most out of his players, and when you get the most out of a team that is also the most talented (excluding maybe UNC), good things are going to happen. Florida beats Georgetown in the championship 72-65.

If my first weekend bracket success is any indication, I will be lucky if more than one of these predictions come true. I recommend betting against any team I pick for the remainder of the tournament.

The NCAA Tournament All-Ugly Team

2007-03-17T23:53:00.000-05:00

C - Lorenzo Mata, UCLA - The loser of the genetic lottery, Mata looks like a 6'10" re-creation of Moe Szyslak from The Simpsons . Seriously. In last year's tournament, he wore a mask to protect his then-broken nose, and it was amazingly able to worsen his already hideous look.

F - Joakim Noah, Florida - Lets be honest, Noah really needs no explanation for his placement on this elite squad; when he blew the famed kiss to the UCLA cheerleader last year, countless Americans threw up simultaneously. And his dance after winning the SEC championship? Simply atrocious.

F - Robbie Cowgill, Washington St. - In addition to having a name that lends itself to the nickname "Cowgirl", the Cougars big man looks like he has down syndrome to go along with his hideous white-boy afro and occasional gruffly beard.

G - Jared Dudley, Boston College - Dudley will have to play guard on this oversized squad. The beloved BC star is much better than he looks, which is good because he seems to be the result of a disastrous experiment in which hip hop butcher Jim Jones was bred with an ostrich.

G - Edgar Sosa, Louisville - Sosa actually impresses me most out of this bunch in that he has no distinguishing feature or horrible hairstyle; the man is just flat out ugly. It seems like things on his face are just poorly positioned.

There you have it, the 2007 All-Ugly team. My condolences to everyone I offended, including the innocent, but undebatably ugly players who were lucky enough to make the squad.