Dear...

After a 6 month hiatus, it's finally time for me to resume my ranting. My apologies for the break. Without any further ado, let me begin.

Larry Johnson, your injury has more people excited than worried.
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Now I know it's utterly immoral to be happy about someone getting hurt, and I promise, I would never wish such harm on Larry Johnson or anybody else. But hey, Johnson will be fine in a week or two, and now, it's Priest time! Yes, this is one of those great comeback attempts that warms everybody's heart, blah blah blah, but it's more than just a sappy story. For those of you who have forgotten, in the 2001-2003 seasons, Holmes was the most dominant and most versatile back in the entire league. He gained over 2000 yards of total offense and reeled in over 60 receptions in each of the three seasons! Of course I would love to see another guy come back from an injury that threatened to impact the rest of his life, but on top of that, it will be pretty darn exciting to see if the 34-year old has anything left in the tank. If he's even 80% the back that he was four years ago, the Chiefs could have the most exciting backfield (when Johnson returns) since Bo Jackson and Marcus Allen of the LA Raiders in the Tecmo Super Bowl. Now if they'd just pull Damon Huard, barely a servicable career backup (a whopping 8 TDs and 9 picks in 8 starts this season) and let Alabama alum Brodie Croyle, potentially their franchise quarterback, take the helm, they could accidentally win the battered AFC West...

Don Shula, grow up!
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As a disclaimer, I am a biased Patriots fan, but regardless, this is absolutely absurd. Don Shula is arguing that if the Patriots finish the season 16-0 (as his 1972 Dolphins did), they should be put in the record books with an asterisk due to the Week 1 spying scandal. There are so many things wrong with this, I don’t even know where to begin. First of all, when did Don Shula become a pundit of the NFL record book? After 35 years, the Dolphins might not be alone in the records, so of course Shula selfishly speaks out. I was equally disgusted when Jason Taylor spoke out against Shawne Merriman last year for being eligible for Defensive Player of the Year after testing positive for steroids; of course Merriman was Taylor’s main competition for the award. These Dolphins just can’t keep their mouths shut…Secondly, the Patriots were caught stealing play calls in Week 1 vs. the New York Jets. The Pats won 38-14 and the Jets are now a remarkable 1-8 on the season. I don’t think a couple signals were the turning point for their defeat. Other than that single game, the Patriots have played fair all season and continued to destroy teams all year long. Thirdly, I’ve never been a fan of the “if you aren’t cheating, you aren’t trying” credo, but it’s relatively true in professional sports. Guys are always trying to read lips, steal signals, exploit the rules, (for example, those ridiculous timeouts called while the kicker is kicking the game winning field goal) etc. The league has said that the Patriots cheated, and I am not justifying that, but it’s hardly more repulsive than whatever all the other teams do. They’ve already been stripped of a first-round draft pick, that’s punishment enough. Don’t put an asterisk next to a team who is blatantly one of the best in history because of such a minute violation. Look on the bright side Don, the Dolphins can enter the record book again with another perfect record—0-16.

Curt Schilling, really?
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The Red Sox signed Schilling for one more year yesterday, and the media and Red Sox nation are all over it. I’m over it too. If I have to listen to one more story about how Schilling has “reinvented” himself as a finesse pitcher, I’m going to go insane. Losing 10 miles on your fastball doesn’t mean you’ve reinvented yourself, it just means you’re turning 41 this month and you’re starting to suck. Over the last 3 years, Schilling is 32-25 with a 4.30 ERA and a handful of injuries. He’s a washed up, unreliable, injury-prone, decent 3rd or 4th pitcher a rotation who’s only getting worse. I’ll save my excitement until we re-sign Lowell.

Adrian Peterson, save some for the next 15 years!
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Rookie stud Adrian Peterson broke the all-time single game rushing record vs. San Diego this Sunday, going for 296 yards and 3 TDs. It was his second game of 200+ yards and 3 TDs in the last 4 weeks. Peterson could break his collarbone again and miss the second half of the season and still win Rookie of the Year. You’d think the media would be all over a fresh rookie who is clearly the best back in the league this season, but I guess playing in Minnesota with Travaris Jackson as your quarterback will hide you a little bit. Peterson is an unbelievable combination of speed and strength that makes him and almost unprecedented talent. What’s more? He’s on pace for just the 6th 2,000 yard season in the history of the league. And making that even more impressive: Peterson has only started 5 of the games and has split carries an many games with Chester Taylor! He’s averaging 6.6 yards per carry, over a yard more than Marion Barber’s 5.4, which is second among backs that have taken 100+ carries. Peterson should be getting as much coverage as Tom Brady and his nearly perfect season. We can only hope that he doesn’t tire out as the season goes on and that the pounding on his body hamper him too much. (Cadillac Williams had 434 yards over his first 3 games only to pick up under 2,000 yards since then due to wear and injury.) If Peterson stays healthy, expect him to be one of the best in history.

Ohio State, my condolences in advance.
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Ohio State is living the dream at the top of the national rankings thanks to upsets of tens of teams that have actually played other decent Division 1-A schools. How much would Oregon or LSU or Oklahoma or even Florida beat Ohio State by? 20? 30? The Buckeyes have a solid defense; or rather they haven’t played against a good offensive team all year. (Although those Youngstown St. Penguins sure can move the ball down field!) Michigan, who as we all know, lost to Appalachian St. Week 1 and got romped by Oregon Week 2 to start the season as poorly as anyone could ever hope to, has sneakily won eight straight games, and now Chad Henne and Mike Hart are both getting healthy. They play Ohio State in the last week of the season at a home stadium that will be “rockin’” as they say. Along with Henne and Hart, Jake Long, their Right Tackle, might be the number one overall pick in the upcoming draft and Mario Manningham is one of the top wideouts in the country. Look for Michigan to dethrone the number 1 (that is, if they survive the Illini this weekend) Buckeyes and make their push to a BCS bowl game.

Travis Henry, life gave you a second chance, and you blew that one too!
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Henry’s season, like his career, started out so promising. After demanding a trade after the 2004 season in which he yielded carries to Willis McGahee, Henry got stuck in then-hapless Tennessee, and making matters worse, promptly failed a drug test. Life gave Henry a second chance this year, after many thought the bright point of his career had passed. He was shipped to Denver and given the opportunity to be the starting running back. Keep in mind that my grandmother Silvia could run for 1,000 yards in the Denver offense. It was the perfect situation. Henry failed another drug test and faces a year-long suspension, but continues to play while the ruling is appealed. But on the field, Henry is hardly making up for his behavior. After leading the league in rushing through 4 weeks, Henry has been useless since then, guiding the Broncos to a 3-5 record and limping off the field after every other play. The only category he leads the league in now is pathetic injuries per game (pi/g). Bring on Selvin Young!