Yeah, I know you don't aim for second place, but you acted like Ricky Bobby. "If you ain't first, your last!" But Sean, as Reese Bobby wisely pointed out, you could be "Second, third, fourth...hell you could even be fifth!" And if you're a complete moron like you, Sean O'Hair, you can be 11th. You tried to be daring. I respect a risk-taker, but there's a fine line between being gutsy, and being flat-out idiotic. Who am I kidding, it's not even a fine line, it's a thick red line that you completely disregarded. And you know what? It cost you three-quarters of a million dollars! $750,000! You were +4 on 17 because you tried to be a hero, and you ended up putting the ball in the water, then you bogeyed 18. I don't feel bad for you. You're like one of those Deal or No Deal contestants who is homeless and is being offered $300,000, but all the have left is the $750,000 and the penny, and you scream NO DEAL HOWIE! Then you lose everything and your still homeless, and you expect sympathy?
Golden State Warriors, pleeeease stay alive!
If ever there was an acceptable time to rig the results of sporting events, this is it. I'm all for the integrity of the game, but c'mon, everyone wants to see a Warriors-Suns Western Conference Finals. If the Jazz play the Spurs and the Pistons play...anyone, I'm going to be pounding Pepsi just to stay awake for the games. The Warriors are being talked about more than any NBA team during the playoffs in my lifetime. Even people that don't follow basketball are rooting for them. Hell, I think even some of the Jazz backups are rooting for them. They run and gun, and that's all anyone wants to see. Plus, Baron Davis is an absolute God. Did you see that dunk? I thought he borrowed Gilbert Arenas' trampoline at first.
Brett Favre, shut the f*#% up!
I don't care whether you asked for a trade or not, I despise you more than any athlete in the world, save Roger Clemens. You can't complain about the failures of the Packers franchise to get marquee players to help you, because YOU are single-handedly killing the franchise. Every off-season, the entire organization waits and waits and waits for you to decide if you're coming back to throw 63 more interceptions next season, and you push the deadlines for decision back. They should make it a Pope-like thing, and when you've decided, maybe you can send white smoke out of your chimney. You complain about other players, but YOU have become one of the biggest quarterback liabilities in the league. The last two years, you have thrown just 38 touchdowns and an utterly repulsive 47 (Yes, FORTY-SEVEN) interceptions. You were a great quarterback in your prime, a hall-of-famer, but now you simply can't perform, so you don't have the right to keep the entire city waiting every year, to keep acting like you ARE the Green Bay Packers. The mere concept that you would have the audacity to request a trade made me throw up a little bit in my mouth, followed by an extended fit of laughter. No other team in the entire league would take you for that amount of money, and you couldn't start anywhere else either. You were the Packers, so they endure you, but patience is running thin, so just shut the f*#% up and be grateful that they continue to allow you to throw their footballs into opponents hands.
Bruce Bowen, you better be grateful to be playing in Game 4
I was one of the few who defended Kobe's suspensions for his flailing elbow's this season, which Phil Jackson referred to as a witch hunt. He was right--only there was really a witch, and they caught her. I defended Raja Bell's suspension in last year's playoffs when he clotheslined Kobe. Artest was suspended for an elbow in the 2006 playoffs as well. Hell, they even suspended Udonis Haslem in the playoffs for throwing a freakin' mouthguard. So why can you, Bruce, get away with a blatantly intentional knee to Steve Nash's man-parts? You have consistently been a dirty player that walks that line of dirty vs. hard-nosed, and you've gotten away with it. But I'm sick of the "accidental" undercuts when contesting shots that have sprained shooter's ankles, sick of the grabbing, sick of all your dirty little tricks.
Augustus Gilchrist, don't do this to Virginia Tech!
For my readers who don't know who you are, you are a highly-touted committed Virginia Tech basketball recruit who has decided not to attend in the wake of the recent tragedy. You say you are "not mentally prepared to go there for this year." First of all, the school shooting was indeed tragic, but it could occur at any school in the country. You can't let this misguided fear prevent you from attending the university. And secondly, you signed a letter of intent to go to VT, and they need you now more than ever. In times of tragedy, sports is one of those few things that can bring people joy, unite them in happiness again, like the Saints did for New Orleans after Katrina. If people like you bail on them now, the impact is far more profoud on Virginia Tech than you realize. If you set a precedent, and other athletes revoke their commitments as well, then shame on you Mr. Gilchrist. Shame on you.
Pacman Jones' Lawyers, don't waste your time!
"A decision on Titans cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones' appeal for leniency from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell will be delayed while lawyers complete paperwork."
Well don't waste your time on this low-life. Pacman has more arrests in the last two years than the entire Bengals and the Trailblazers teams combined. Even the other players, who always defend their fellow athletes, don't want leniency for Pacman. They don't want to be seen as a homogeneous group of thugs; guys like Jones are just disgusting exceptions. So don't waste your time trying to appeal the suspension--it's already lenient! He should be kicked out of the league! He should probably be in jail! Let him sit behind bars with Paris Hilton, maybe he can protect her, and she can style his dreads.
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