The Thermometer: Who's Hot and Who's Not

Chicago Bulls - 300 Degrees (F)
I love the Bulls! I even picked them to come out of the Eastern Conference and meet the Suns in the NBA Finals! The Bulls are making me look really good right now, which is a first. Luol Deng, who made my "Don't Forget About Me! Team", is performing like the superstar that he is. He is probably the fourth most recognized player on the team, behind Hinrich, Gordon, and Wallace, but Deng has been the driving force that has led the Bulls to a 3-0 lead over the Heat, contributing 28 points, 8 rebounds, and 4 assists per game thus far. The Bulls meet all the criteria of a great team despite their youth, and I expect them to continue to roll and eventually upset the heavily favored Detroit Pistons

Jason Kidd - 212 Degrees
Kidd put forth one of the most impressive performances of my lifetime last night to carry the Nets to a 2-1 lead over the Toronto Raptors. He finished Game 3 with 16 points, 16 rebounds, and 19 assists. I'm not sure if I need to point this out, but that's insane! There have only been three 15-15-15 games in the entire history of the playoffs! How the hell did the Raptors let a point guard reel in 16 rebounds!? I'm overwhelmed by how amazing this is! And I'm someone who consistently wore my Kidd "Wife Beater" shirt to the Celtics games; I have always hated Kidd and the Nets, but he's been unbelievable. At 34 years old, I wasn't sure how much Kidd had left in the tank coming into this postseason, but he's EASILY averaging a triple-double with 13 points, 14 assists, and 12 rebounds per game through the first three of this series. He was surprisingly under the radar over the course of the season, but he averaged an impressive 13 points, 9 assists, and 8 rebounds per match. Kidd has the Nets playing amazingly, and Carter has avoided the tragic, career-threatening injuries that have plagued his past, and I actually expect them to reach the Eastern Conference Finals. Had Nenad Krstic not torn his ACL near the beginning of the season, the Nets would be poised for a run at the Championship. That being said, Mikki Moore has filled in remarkably well for a man who spent most of his career in the NBDL and tending to albino boa constrictors. (Really, he has two of them. He's absolutely nuts.)

Golden State Warriors - 200 Degrees
While most of my NBA Playoff predictions are going fantastically, like many so-called "experts", I expected the Mavericks to roll over the Warriors. No dice. Golden State has been playing much like the Phoenix Suns, ripping the ball out of the net and pushing it as fast as possible, spreading out the defense with penetration and kicks for open threes. I thought Bill Walton was going to call them the best team in the history of Western civilization last night. Not only have Jason Richardson and Baron Davis been great, but guys like Monta Ellis, Stephen Jackson, Mickael Pietrus, Andris Biedrins, Al Harrington, and Matt Barnes have all been contributing nicely. It's true that this team is overachieving right now, but look at that list; they have a lot of very solid players. That being said, if Dirk Nowitzki is taken out of his cryogenic freezing machine and the Mavericks start playing like a 67 win team and stop playing like Iona College, they can easily win this series in 6 or 7 games. But if they don't get under control and turn things around, the Warriors will definitely take advantage, so they better come out prepared for the rest of the series.

Brady Quinn's Girlfriend - 120 Degrees
Self-Explanatory.

Phoenix Suns - 102 Degrees
Kobe won the the one game that I expected him to single-handedly take from the Suns, but Phoenix has been impressive nonetheless. Despite Kobe's 45 point performance, and a great game from Lamar Odom, and a surprisingly good game from Kwame Brown, and an absolutely terrible game by Shawn Marion, the Suns were STILL tied with a few minutes left in the fourth quarter. This is their year. Barbosa is awesome. Nash is a God. Marion and Stoudemire can jump over buildings. Raja Bell has developed a great shot, is a fantastic defender, and can always strangle Kobe or something. Kurt Thomas and Boris Diaw are great off the bench. They even have Jalen Rose on their team...is anyone even aware of this? Finally, the scariest thing--they will likely get a top 5 draft pick this year from the Joe Johnson-Boris Diaw trade. That's not even fair; imagine this team with Al Horford! Or better yet: Yi Jianlian!

Alex Rodriguez - 98 Degrees
Had I written this article a few days ago, when A-Rod was on pace for 120 homers, 300 RBIs, and batting .400, he would've been off the charts. However, maybe A-Rod has begun his descent back to humanity, going 1-10 with no RBI or extra base hits over the last 3 games. Okay, it's not much of a lapse, but I hate A-Rod and his average is down to a mere .365 now! Come on, it's only a matter of time before he stops hitting every pitch out of the park. Before you know it, he'll be batting .096 in the playoffs and Yankee fans will be booing him all over again!

Houston Rockets - 90 Degrees
I've already written enough about how much I love the Rockets. They lost the ugliest game ever in their first road game of the series, but they'll still win easily. Yao and McGrady have both been awesome. I have them beating the Mavericks in the next round, if the Mavs survive that long.

Sammy Sosa - 85 Degrees
Four games ago, I was ready to write off Sosa even reaching 600 homers. I thought his career was over; he was batting .186 and had been pathetic all season long. In the last four games, he's 8 for 16 with 3 home runs and 7 RBI, raising his batting average by nearly 70 points. I would say I'm happy for him, but I want to check his bat for cork, test him for steroids, and make sure he didn't inject himself with Klingon DNA first.

Daisuke Matsuzaka - Room Temperature
This one kills me since I have an unhealthy obsession with The Gun from the Rising Sun. He's still been very solid, and his "stuff" is good enough to make him the top pitcher in the league, so us Sox fans are far from upset. Still, his 3-2 record with a 4.36 ERA are not nearly as impressive as I would have hoped. Granted, I expect a no-hitter every time he steps on the mound. His control problems are the only thing holding him back right now, and he seems to give up all his runs in spurts. Whatever, I'm still going to teach myself Japanese in case I ever meet him.

Brady Quinn - 32 degrees
Poor Brady just kept dropping on Saturday, as we've seen with many top-notch quarterbacks in recent years (Ben Roethlisberger, Aaron Rodgers, Matt Leinart). Luckily, Brady still has a really hot girlfriend and will have the last laugh when the Dolphins have no quarterback and Quinn is thriving.

Mark Prior - 0 Degrees
As someone who has suffered multiple severe injuries and surgeries myself, I feel Mark Prior's pain. I'll be happily surprised if he ever steps on an MLB mound again. As far as I'm concerned, his career is over. But so was Sammy Sosa's last week according to me, so there is hope yet Mr. Prior.

Dirk Nowitzki - -50 Degrees
There's a reason why Dwyane Wade blamed Dirk for not carrying the Mavs in the Playoffs last year. There's a reason why I've said time and time again that Dirk is not the most VALUABLE player. There's a reason why the Warriors were less than terrified of taking on this Mavericks team. Dirk Nowitzki disappears when the Mavs need him most. If you only watched the playoffs, you'd think Josh Howard was supposed to be their best player. Dirk is shooting only 38%, and despite putting up 20 ppg in the three games, he just looks extremely average. He seems to slow to dominate. He just isn't behaving the heart and soul of his team like superstars do in the playoffs.

Miami Dolphins - Absolute Zero
What the hell were they thinking!? People had talked about Miami TRADING UP to get Brady Quinn! Then, he falls into their hands at pick number 9, and they take Ted Ginn Jr., essentially a track star who occasionally catches footballs? Plus, he's coming off a relatively serious foot injury. It's as if the Dolphins were desperately trying to set up an entertainment room, but they don't have a TV yet, and somebody said to them, "Hey, you can either have this flat-screen 62-inch Plasma TV, or this XBOX 360?" And the Dolphins took the XBOX 360, and they've yet to realize that they don't have a TV to play it on.


And here are the Playoff Predictions that I keep referencing (I swear I made them before the Playoffs started, it's documented on Facebook!):

Dallas Over Golden State in 5
Houston Over Utah in 6
San Antonio Over Denver in 6
Phoenix Over LA in 5
Detroit Over Orlando in 5
Chicago Over Miami in 6
New Jersey Over Toronto in 6
Cleveland Over Washington in 4

Conference Semis
Houston Over Dallas in 6
Phoenix Over San Antonio in 7
Chicago Over Detroit in 6
New Jersey Over Cleveland in 7

Conference Finals
Phoenix Over Houston in 7
Chicago Over New Jersey in 6

Finals
Phoenix Over Chicago in 7