C - Lorenzo Mata, UCLA - The loser of the genetic lottery, Mata looks like a 6'10" re-creation of Moe Szyslak from The Simpsons . Seriously. In last year's tournament, he wore a mask to protect his then-broken nose, and it was amazingly able to worsen his already hideous look.
F - Joakim Noah, Florida - Lets be honest, Noah really needs no explanation for his placement on this elite squad; when he blew the famed kiss to the UCLA cheerleader last year, countless Americans threw up simultaneously. And his dance after winning the SEC championship? Simply atrocious.
F - Robbie Cowgill, Washington St. - In addition to having a name that lends itself to the nickname "Cowgirl", the Cougars big man looks like he has down syndrome to go along with his hideous white-boy afro and occasional gruffly beard.
G - Jared Dudley, Boston College - Dudley will have to play guard on this oversized squad. The beloved BC star is much better than he looks, which is good because he seems to be the result of a disastrous experiment in which hip hop butcher Jim Jones was bred with an ostrich.
G - Edgar Sosa, Louisville - Sosa actually impresses me most out of this bunch in that he has no distinguishing feature or horrible hairstyle; the man is just flat out ugly. It seems like things on his face are just poorly positioned.
There you have it, the 2007 All-Ugly team. My condolences to everyone I offended, including the innocent, but undebatably ugly players who were lucky enough to make the squad.
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